The Passenger
Posted on Mon Apr 19th, 2021 @ 2:07pm by Ensign Aenardha Sh'vastarth
Mission:
The Gauntlet
Location: Aenardha's Quarters
Timeline: Current
After some hours of in-processing aboard the Pandora, meeting new faces, explaining why she did not need a guiding arm, meeting the captain and the XO, meeting Security, having lunch, explaining again why she did not need a guiding arm, processing a request for her quarters, getting a physical, acquiring her security clearance, explaining why she did not need a guiding arm yet again, among other things, Aenardha finally made it back to her quarters where she could finally be alone. Without anyone about for her to tap into some public vision, she did not have a good idea of how her quarters looked.
When she and Lt. James arrived to drop off her duffels, she managed to get something of a glimpse, but was quickly off on her in-processing errands. Now, she could take it all in. Sans the vision, she slowly stepped about the perimeter of the room feeling along the walls with another hand outstretched forward looking for any chairs, a sofa or anything else for her to trip over. After locating the lavatory, her wardrobe, bed, and all furnishings along the wall, she stepped about the area of her quarters and navigated it in a grid fashion and feeling about with her hands. In the end, only an awkward locating of a small table in the center of the room with a couple of chairs managed to be her only hiccup.
With a mental map built, she went to her bed where the two duffels remained, opened them and emptied them onto the bed piece by piece, clothing by clothing, novelty item by novelty item, placing them gently and orderly upon the bed. Updating her mental inventory as she unpacked and placed things about her quarters, Aenardha made sure nothing was forgotten.
“Computer.”
Bleep bleep.
“Do you contain my personal libraries and preferences from the Academy.”
=^=”Affirmative. All personnel preferences regarding books, holoprograms, movies, music and more are all synched when personnel change duty stations.”=^=
An ‘Affirmative’ was all she required. “Lower room temperature to lowest allowed setting. Play ‘The Passenger’ by Hunter as a Horse. Mid-range volume.”
Bleep bleep
She could already feel the temperature lower just a bit as the air moved. As the dark melody of the song started, Aenardha felt herself centering, her feelings calming and she continued unpacking her duffels and decorating the area.
Among the décor, Aenardha unwrapped a set of ushaan-tors as well as an ustoon-tor. Both were Andorian bladed weapons meant for battle. Both were sharp, so she handled them with extra care so as to not injure herself. Both were also something unheard of in the ownership of an Aenar. Yet there they were.
She positioned them to hang from the wall opposite her bed. The ustoon-tor hanging, with the blade pointed downward, with the pair of ushaan-tors hanging on either side.
As the songs solemn lyrics added to the already dark sounds, she held an ushaan-tor in her hand and lightly fingered the blade, feeling the smoothness and the sharpness of it before placing it on the wall.
Aenardha turned to setting up her lavatory, putting each item in its exact and permanent position so she would not have to feel around later. Her pressed uniforms she hung up in the wardrobe all facing the same direction so she would not have to guess.
The small table in the center of her quarters would be the best location for her set of Kal-toh. Sure, it was a Vulcan mediation puzzle slash game, but it was also something she found to be very relaxing as it also helped her meditate and bring her mind into focus.
Humming along with her favorite song, Aenardha realized she had broken away from the melody and was again attempting to hum out the incomprehensible tune that appeared to be the favorite of the little girl constantly skipping about in her memory. She could almost hear the tune in her ears overlaid upon “The Passenger” and Aenardha nearly felt as though the little girl was in there with her. The utter absence of another mind to attach to, to see through, to hear through proved to Aenardha that she was absolutely alone. The thought of the little girl faded away. As did the unknowable melody she was humming. All that remained playing in Aenardha’s ears was her go-to song by Hunter as a Horse as it was wrapping up.
“Computer.”
Bleep bleep.
“Continue playing the same band. Shuffle the song catalog.”
Bleep bleep.
Aenardha felt as though a passenger herself; a passenger through life and through space. The situation in which she found herself was something not entirely of her choosing. Leaving Andor, Starfleet, the incident during POSSE, her extended stay at the Academy, a focus on Intelligence, it was all a result of one incident and, though she was able to steer herself as she travelled the rough waves of life, each event felt as though carrying her further and further away from her home and from herself. Aenardha, the passenger. Each milestone, however, provided her the opportunity to grow in and of herself, to find herself amidst the vast and dark forest of reality.
Not knowing whether or not she had found herself, or ever would find herself, the person Aenardha had become and was becoming was certainly vastly different and a long trek away from who she once was. Returning to her people on Andor was something she had been wanting since the moment she left, but was slowly becoming something she wanted in lesser and lesser intensity.
Would the time ever come that she would not wish to return to Andora or to her people? And, if she did, would they like the Aenar who returned? Would they welcome her? How would they find her?
The passenger, Aenardha felt, had truly been carried too far. There was certainly not a point of no return, just a point whereupon returning would prove difficult and an arduous task.