To Find My Love on the Other Side

Posted on Mon Jun 22nd, 2020 @ 11:37pm by Lieutenant Kalin Brennan-Griffin PhD & Eva Griffin
Edited on on Fri Jul 10th, 2020 @ 5:15pm

Mission: Divided We Fall
Location: Sickbay

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Kalin 'Shae' Brennan-Griffin PhD & Aoife Brennan
Mission: Divided We Fall
Location: Sickbay
Timeline:
Wed Oct 3rd, 2018 @ 8:09pm

Not much longer, my love.

Not much longer…

Suddenly, Shae jolted awake with a gasp. The lights were so bright and there were hands on her. Why were there so many hands?! She couldn’t work out where she was or how she got here, but the will to survive was kicking into high gear as she fought off the hands holding her down. She took a swipe at one of the hands and she smelled blood hitting the air; this gave her an opening and she took it, attempting to flee, but instead she fell to the floor in a heap of uncoordinated limbs. Shite, it was like she didn’t know how to control her own body! She managed to crawl away under what seemed to be a row of… beds? Then she found a corner and put her back to it, growling as she readied herself to protect this position from the hands.

Cailus, having just rushed in a minute ago at getting the call, watched impotently as Shae fought against the doctor and nurse before scuttling away to a corner. As the nurse recoiled at the gash in her hand, wincing in pain, Cailus hurried over, easing the injured Ensign Tellanigh onto another biobed while the doctor swiftly attended to her.

“Stay here and maintain a safe distance,” Cailus ordered curtly. Watching Shae, seeing her frantic and panicked movements, Cailus winced. “This didn’t happen with anyone else, did it?”

“We've had some pretty extreme reactions, but nothing like this,” the doctor replied with concern as he ran a dermal regenerator over the nurse’s hand. “Doctor Brookes anticipated a problem with the length of the Lieutenant’s stay in the dream compounded with her instincts, but we thought that we had it under control. She should’ve woken up gradually. I don’t dare sedate her in her current condition.”

“Very well,” Cailus said with a frown, and after a moment’s thought, he pulled his phaser out of its holster and handed it to the other nurse, who had rushed in from another ward but was reduced to simply watching. With considerable care, Cailus slowly moved over to Shae, holding his hands out in a peaceful gesture.

“Shae,” he said quietly, hoping desperately that she still remembered him, that all those years hadn’t left her feral again. “Do you remember me, love? Do you know who I am?”

Shae saw a blob of a figure approaching her, speaking to her, but the words were indecipherable and they hurt her ears. Why were her ears ringing?! The figure grew closer and she saw more hands and her growl deepened as she bared her fangs at the figure.

As startling as Shae was with her gentle self transformed into such wild terror, Cailus stayed unaffected, continuing to approach as slowly and carefully as he could. Finally, just outside easy reach, he crouched down, trying to catch Shae’s panicked eyes with his own.

“Come on, Shae, I’m right here,” he said softly. “I’m right here, you just need to take that last step. Here.” With torturous slowness, he eased his left hand a tiny bit closer, palm up. “Just use your nose, Shae. Come on, love, you know who I am.”

Shae continued to growl at the hands trying to grab her. No no, not grab her… What was wrong with her head, she could barely think! But there was something familiar about the voice, even if she couldn’t understand the muffled words, his tone was so soothing. And with each panicked breath, she drew in more an more of his scent and her growls began to lessen until finally she grew silent.

“Cail… us…” Shae said softly. It was then that she realized she was shaking, or was she shivering? Why was she shivering? No, why was she still shivering?

“That’s right,” Cailus whispered, smiling faintly in relief. He sidled up closer, gently moving his left hand to Shae’s cheek.

The hands were coming closer and she tensed up, but she knew she couldn’t trust her eyes right now so Shae closed them, gasping when she finally felt his warm hand on her cheek. “Cailus…” she said as she leaned into that contact, nuzzling against his wrist. She had waited so long to be reunited with him and now they were finally together again, now she could finally relax, although the shivering did not stop. “I waited… so long…” she said softly, shivering like a leaf.

“I know,” Cailus murmured, and without further prompting, he moved to sit next to Shae, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Even through Shae’s red medical gown, he could feel her awful shaking…but this was more than some bad reaction, this meant...

“Damn it, she froze to death,” he whispered, horrified. Rubbing Shae’s back, he called out, “Computer, raise Sickbay temperature to 25 degrees centigrade. Give me some thermal blankets, quickly!”

The nurses rushed to get the blankets to Cailus, and they had the good sense not to get too close, putting the blankets just within his reach so that he could wrap Shae up. Even still Shae growled softly at the sounds of hurried movements approaching, but it was a half-hearted growl. Then she felt Cailus pull her closer so she could leach heat from him, and then she felt something around them, the blankets. The cold may have been all in her head, but she was still glad to feel the sudden spike in warmth.

“Couldn’t wait… for my time… to run out…” Shae confessed wearily as she nuzzled against Cailus’ chest. She was still shivering, but not nearly as violently as she had been moments before. “Couldn’t wait… to see you… again…”

“You certainly took your time,” Cailus whispered with a teasing kiss on Shae’s brow, even knowing that she was likely too far gone to appreciate it. They made a bizarre sight, huddled in a corner underneath the blankets, but a content one. Still holding Shae close, to warm her up as much as he could, Cailus realised that there was one thing that would wake Shae up properly.

“There’s someone else here who missed you,” he murmured into her long vulpine ear. “Our daughter.”

Shae managed to smile at his words, finally able to grasp some understanding of the garbled sounds she was hearing.

“I couldn't leave until everyone else was gone…” she said softly. Her shivering was finally starting to ease off, so speaking came a little easier, but her eyes were still closed for fear of seeing too many hands. “Madeline is here? I get to see her again?” she said with hopeful excitement.

Cailus flinched at the mention of Madeline. He hadn’t thought of Madeline too much since he had come back, too overjoyed to be reunited with Aoife to remember tiny Madeline, and fresh guilt burned. He glanced up at the medical personnel as they patiently waited nearby, sharing a look of sad understanding, and he took a deep breath.

“Shae,” he said quietly, clutching her shoulder tightly with his hand as she rested on his breast, “you’re not dead, love. This isn’t the afterlife. We’re on the Pandora, the real Pandora, the whole ship, just a couple of weeks after we were taken away to the Bubble.” He hesitated. “Aoife is here. Just like when we left.”

“I… I don’t understand…” Shae replied with confusion. She was starting to panic and tense up, and her eyes finally opened to dart about only to squeeze shut once again from the brightness of the light. “But… That doesn’t… make sense!” she declared with shuddering breaths, but one words kept resonating in her mind, confusing her even more. “Aoife, I need to see her,” she said, holding Cailus tightly.

In full agreement, Cailus wormed his right hand under the blankets and in between Shae and his chest, tapping the combadge lightly. =/\=Griffin to Davies. Bring Aoife to Sickbay please, as soon as is practical. Shae is awake, but she’s still a bit confused.=/\=

Not bothering to wait for an acknowledgement, Cailus tapped his combadge again to close the channel. “I know it’s hard to understand, Shae,” he continued softly, “but you’re safe, I promise. We’re in Sickbay. Do you think you can stand up and get on a bed? Nobody is going near you except me and Aoife. I just want you to be comfortable.””

Shae’s mind was still reeling, but she managed to nod. “I think I’m okay,” she said, despite the racing heart and erratic breathing. “When I came to, it was quite jarring and…” She paused to swallow past the lump in her throat. “There were so many hands, I was just… I hurt someone, didn’t I? It wasn’t too bad was it?”

Cailus looked up at the nurse in question, who to her credit, was watching without any bitterness despite her recently-healed wound. Seeing his unspoken question, the nurse smiled kindly and shook her head.

“No Shae, the wound is already healed,” Cailus reassured her gently. “Really, you’ve done worse to me when you’re getting frisky,” he added teasingly, kissing her forehead once more.

Shae blushed. “I thought we agree to never talk about that in front of other people,” Shae said softly. She finally started to pull away to try to get up onto the bed as he suggested, but she was still experiencing some weakness and loss of coordination, so she wasn’t getting up without help. “Can we lower the lights a bit? It is very bright,” she added, still holding tight to Cailus.

“Computer, lower lights by 50%,” Cailus called out, before whispering in Shae’s ear once more. “Hold on tight.”

Thus Cailus removed the blanket and got up on his knees, easing his arms under Shae’s bottom and her shoulders. She was even lighter than usual, a featherweight as he picked her up, and with disquieting ease, Cailus stepped towards the nearest biobed and lowered Shae onto it. The doctor stepped forward urgently then, his hand halfway down to the tricorder on his belt before being stopped cold by a threatening glare from Cailus, who took Shae’s hand as he stood beside the bed.

“Aoife is coming,” Cailus reassured her, rubbing Shae’s knuckles with his thumb. “Just rest now, Shae, try and stay still.”

Shae nodded as she relaxed into the bed, taking comfort from the gentle rub of his thumb over her fingers. She tried opening her eyes again, but this time the lights didn’t immediately blind her, so she was finally able to make some sense of the blobs of shapes around her. She was clearly experiencing split vision, seeing at least three of Cailus beside her, but she was now clear-headed enough to comprehend what was happening, so it was no longer frightening her.

“Hey, I remember that face,” she said with a smile, finally able to meet his gaze. “Is it strange that I’m somewhat disappointed to not see grey or wrinkles?” she asked.

“Yes,” Cailus answered with pointed emphasis, his eyebrows raised in mild amusement. Still holding Shae’s gaze, he gestured subtly at the doctor and nurses, who considerately approached the biobed to run their scans on Shae. “Or do you miss the poor bladder control too?”

That made Shae laugh softly. “Oh goodness, no!” she said, smiling warmly. She had almost forgotten what it was like to smile and laugh…

It was then that the Sickbay doors opened, and Shae could hear a flurry of chirps and then an exhilarated ‘MAMA!”

“Mama?” Shae echoed with confusion, but soon enough Aoife was on the biobed with her. Shae pulled the child into a firm embrace, breathing in the scent of her to confirm what her eyes were telling her; this was Aoife, young and well… and talking!

“Mama Mama!” Aoife babbled happily.

“Oh yes, my little love, and I have missed you so much!” Shae said as she nuzzled into Aoife’s hair with tears of joy welling up in her eyes. For decades, or had she actually passed a century? Well decades at least, she had believed she would never see Aoife again, or if she did then she would be meeting a grown woman, but seeing Aoife as she was now only affirmed to Shae the words Cailus had spoken to her, that it had not been a lifetime that they had been missing, but merely a matter of weeks. With an arm still around the now purring Aoife, Shae reached out for Cailus’ hand once more.

“Cailus, love, please explain to me, if we were only gone a couple of weeks, then what did we experience?” Shae asked with a hint of desperation to fill in the gaps.

“I don’t understand it myself,” Cailus said with a light shrug, smiling at seeing Shae and Aoife together again. “All I know is that we’re back with this little devil. Everyone else woke up long before you, actually…I was starting to get worried.”

“I…. I was waiting for- for everyone else to go… The children, oh my stars, the children weren’t real? I stayed for no reason?” Shae said with disbelief. Then she shook her head. “No, they were real to us… Whatever the Bubble was, it was all real to us; our vows, our losses, it was real in my heart…” It was so much to take in, so overwhelming!

Cailus didn’t react, simply nodding in agreement, even if privately, he ached. He felt horrible for Shae to have had to go through all that, to have suffered so...yet equally, in a dark corner of his heart, it stung to hear Shae’s talk of other children. Another mate, perhaps even others, given how long it must’ve been for her. He had predicted it, and he had truly wanted Shae to find happiness again, but it stung nevertheless.

“It all happened,” he said firmly, burying his own feelings. “Every day, every person you knew, everything. Don’t doubt that for a second, Shae.”

“Poor Smith and Kaleri… I can’t imagine what they’re going through right now, and the other parents…” Shae said, then released a soft, sad, exhale. “Can you let them all know? I didn’t let their children die alone.”

“Do you plan on going somewhere?” Cailus asked wryly, chuckling. “You can tell them yourself, Shae, when you get better.” Looking lovingly at Aoife, who was still happily snuggling into her mother’s chest with her tail wagging in contentment, Cailus’ grin softened into a warm smile. “Speaking of children, ours was busy while we were gone.”

“I noticed!” Shae said with renewed excitement. “Tell me, little imp, what else can you say?” she said to her daughter with a loving nuzzle.

“Poopy,” Aoife replied with a giggle.

“Well… that is… something,” Shae remarked with amusement.

“More important is what else she learned,” Cailus commented with a smirk. He could hear Rebekah and the medical personnel around them, all fussing around, but even so, he leaned forward a little with an enigmatic look in his eye. “No more nappies.”

“Oh goodness, perhaps I have died and this is simply what my afterlife looks like!” Shae declared in jest, hugging Aoife tighter. “Seriously, you little monster? It just took us going away for a while and you figure out how to talk and go to the potty!” she teased Aoife, who giggled happily. Shae sighed happily, her eyes drifting closed; this was all so much to take in, she couldn’t believe how tired this was making her feel. “I can’t wait to hear all about how this came about, but right now, I’m just so happy to see both of you again…”

“As we are to see you,” Cailus said with a more serious, quiet tone, as by all the stars in the universe, oh how he had missed her. He reached down to stroke Shae’s brow, easing her into slumber. “Sleep now, Shae. We’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

“I love you both… so much…” Shae said softly as she started to slowly drift away, her breathing evening out as sleep took hold. And mercy of mercies, the shivering and panicked shaking had finally stopped.

Now, with Cailus’ nodded consent, the doctor finally descended on Shae, clearly concerned as he ran the tricorder up and down Shae’s body, minding Aoife on her chest, who was stuck to her mother with no intention of being separated again. “Her lifesigns appear relatively stable, lieutenant, but her psychological distress has taken a toll on her body,” the doctor said he scanned before eventually closing the tricorder. “We’d like to keep her for at least twenty four hours, and I’ll have Doctor Brookes examine her as well, given the unique situation.”

“Very well, doctor, thank you,” Cailus said pointedly, and the doctor duly nodded in understanding. He paused, smiling at the heartwarming image of Shae and Aoife snuggled together, before leaving to give them some privacy. Cailus then looked at Rebekah. She had become a dear friend, but for now, for this moment, it was a time for family.

“I can handle Aoife from now on, Rebekah, thank you,” Cailus told her gently.

Rebekah smiled warmly. “You are most welcome. Just give me a call if you need anything at all,” she replied, then walked away to leave the family to continue rebonding.

Under the low lights and amidst the pleasant warmth, they did just that, with Aoife cuddling against her mama. She had been happily playing with Katrine in the jungle gym when the call had come, and so the little imp was due for a nap anyway with a very welcome cushion. After going to get a chair, Cailus settled in with them, simply taking in the sight of Shae and her daughter. It was a cherished and wondrous image, one that he had feared that he would never see again.

Almost without thinking, Cailus’ left hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out a small object. He rolled it between his fingers as he gazed at Shae and Aoife, looking down at it on occasion, tracing the intertwining curves of the claddagh. It was a strange thing, really. Shae had never seen this particular ring, yet in another universe, he had given it to her in the shower to their mutual joy. She had worn it for years and years, through all the highs and heartbreak.

She had been wearing it when, filthy and clothed in rags, she had finally emerged to see Cailus before he died.

Thus, amidst the total silence, Cailus silently stood up and bent over Shae. He reached for Shae’s left hand as it held the dozing Aoife and slipped the ring on her finger, as stealthily as he could to avoid waking either mother or child, before silently returning to the chair.

Nothing more need be said.