Reality Bites

Posted on Wed Mar 10th, 2021 @ 7:38am by Captain Nycolas Temple & Petty Officer 1st Class Greep & Terrekal

Mission: The Gauntlet
Location: Deck 5 - Holodeck

ON:

With the Pandora continuing her journey through the Expanse, this time with a little reassurance they won't be immediately attacked, Nyx allowed himself and the crew some time to cool down. They had been on high alert since leaving the Hesiod Region and that was not good for anyone's morale or physical well-being. As such, the first thing to reopen was Little Caesar's on Holodeck, which most of the crew referred to as "Mindo's" for brevity. Nyx had ventured into the program a few times, mostly for events and with others, and never checked it out by himself. He decided now was as good a time as any to visit.

Entering the Holodeck program, Nyx was immediately greeted by the high energy music and bright lights, the sounds of gaming machines and a few officers enjoying their off-duty time as well. He took a stroll over to the bar to order himself something fun to drink.

Terrekal hovered at waist level with the bar, pouring a drink and making eyes at a young human Ensign. Temple recognized him as one of the medical officers. The officer was young, but had the same battle-hardened eyes as everyone else on the ship. The Pandora had been through so much since their assignment to the Expanse began. This officer must have been here since the beginning. But even the people they had acquired along the way, who had not been here as long, still had plenty stories to tell their grandchildren, if they... when they made it home.

As Temple approached he heard the tail end of Terrekal's tale.

"...and that's why I wear boxers, not briefs," he said. The Ensign laughed, but his face snapped serious and he straightened upon the Captain's arrival.

Terrekal smiled upon seeing Nyx and hovered over to greet him. "Good evening Captain!" he said, sounding chipper. "If you're looking for fun, you've come to the right place. Is there something I can get you? Drink? Burger? Tonight's special is Klingon nachos!"

Temple raised an eyebrow, "What exactly are Klingon nachos and... do I want to know?" He asked as he took a seat, nodding to the Ensign.

"Well, they were Mindo's idea. He said they were 'Nachos so hot they'll try to strangle you,'" Terrekal said with a shrug.

"Oh good god no." Temple shook his head. "I have no shame in admitting that I have no taste for hot food. I'll take a burger and a... soda, please."

"A soda," Terrekal said. "I have a type of Earth soda called Sarsaparilla." Terrekal brought up a chilled glass bottle and used a bottle opener to pop it open. "These contain no alcohol or synthehol. I hope that's alright. It's quite delicious."

Nyx nodded, "Hit me up."

"What would you like on your burger?" Terrekal asked. "We do have something called 'special sauce.' It's very sweet and tangy. I highly recommend it."

"Sounds so good. Thank you." Temple answered, drumming his hand on the bar decisively.

As he waited for Terrekal to prepare the order, Nyx leaned back on the barstool and looked around the room. He took in the various games that lined the walls of the arcade, noting the Donkey Kong machine that so troubled him on opening night. It was somehow more frustrating than the Kobayashi Maru test from the Academy. But the memory alone caused him to break out into a smile, remarking on what a fun place this was for the crew to come and relax.

Terrekal came back with a chilled bottle of Sarsaparilla and a plate with a 1/3 lb burger and a side of thin-sliced french fries. The burger was quite greasy, and dripping with a pink-orange colored sauce.

"Here you are," Terrekal said with a smile. "The best comfort food in the Expanse. You won't find a dish like this at the Box, that's for sure!"

"Hmmm." Nyx smiled, it had been a long time since he had a burger. "Delicious!"

As the Captain began to eat, a tall, blue-furred gold-shirted crewman with a pointed yellow beak resembling that of Earth's bald eagle approached the bar and sat in the stool next to Temple.

"Hello, Greep!" Terrekal said. "The usual?"

Greep nodded and squawked, "Ontarion mud water."

Terrekal grinned. "Coming right up!"

"Take a seat." Nyx said in between mouthfuls, indicating to the stool that the Petty Officer was standing in front of. "You should try Terrekal's burger."

The drink arrived almost as fast as it had been ordered, in a very large glass. It was exactly what Nyx pictured it was.

Greep cocked his head to the person he had ignored upon arriving at the bar. There were several clicks and gurgles before he said, "Good evening, Captain. I did not see you there." There were a few rapid clicks before Greep added, "I don't eat burgers, but the Chief really likes them."

Nyx gave a little shrug before taking a deep bite of his burger. "You're missing out, my friend." He chewed for a while and followed it up with a hearty swig of his drink. "Really."

"That may be so," said Greep. "But I cannot digest meats like beef, or chicken. I can eat things like insects or some fish. I also like various kinds of flora, though not the kind in your human salads." Greep's posture changed suddenly, and he made a throaty, gurgling noise. "However, there are foods that both humans and ontarions can digest, but they are very different from each other. How would you like a swap? I pick a dish from my world that you can try, and you pick one from yours for me? The only stipulation is that we both must be able to digest them."

"Right." Nyx nodded, as he chewed away at his burger. "What can you actually eat then?"

Greep cocked his head. "Ontarion mud water is the only Ontarion dish in Federation replicators," he squawked. "I believe what you humans call 'seafood' would be more compatible to me, but I have never tried it. I do enjoy Selayan crickets."

"Hey! I can replicate that!" Terrekal said with excitement. "I'm told they taste like nachos and give you horrible dysentery for a few weeks. No one seems to try them twice."

Nyx’s mouth stopped mid-chew as he looked between Greep and Terrekal, wondering if this wasn’t some elaborate comedy sketch they were performing. If so, the acting was impeccable. The Captain swallowed loudly before shaking his head, “I’ll stick to the burger and soda, I think.” He commented.

"Alright, that's it," Terrekal said, grabbing Raven's microphone from under the bar. "Hey everyone! Who wants to see Captain Temple try Greep food?" Terrekal yelled into the mic. Instantly a cheer came up, and people abandoned their games and formed a crowd around the bar.

"Is he really going to try it?" someone yelled.

"Of course! Terrekal replied. "Nyx isn't afraid of anything, right?" He, and everyone else, looked to the Captain, hunched over the bar eating his burger. "Greep's going to try human food too!" Another cheer erupted as the crowd drew bigger. The commotion had even attracted a few people from outside to come in and check it out. There was also the chirping of communicators with officers no doubt telling others to get to Mindo's. No doubt people on duty would be watching from various screens. The bridge no doubt was already watching on screen.

The Captain stood and looked around. He saw the assembled crowd and felt the peer pressure to continue, but he was also still in charge here and needed to set the rules. "I am not eating anything that resembles a bug or may cause dysentery." He proclaimed, indicating - somewhat- that he was up for the challenge, so long as the food was agreeable. "In fact, nothing that is going to give Commander Nash another reason to be upset with me."

Greep's head cocked to the side, sounding two slow clicks before squawking, "Why would I choose something that would make my Captain ill?"

Terrekal had buried himself in a PADD for a while before he said, "It looks like there are a few Earth dishes compatible with Greep's digestive system. One is a spicy dish called etoufee, there's a soup-ish thing called oyster stew, and just about anything with tuna, salmon, shrimp, scallops... actually, there's some legit good things listed here." He tapped in a few more commands. "As for you, Captain, there are a few things that shouldn't make you sick. There's pifiddi, a form of bile from a Selayan arthropod, looks like a kind of milky substance..."

"I enjoy pifiddi," Greep squawked. "It goes well with veK'udA eggs."

Terrekal nodded. "Indeed it does," he said. "At least, that's what this recipe says. There's also a dish that looks like very thin noodles... ah, yes, it's the large intestine of an Elasi frog served in a light sauce. According to the recipe it's very sweet."

"Ah yes," Greep squawked. "It is very popular on my homeworld. It's served cold."

"The sauce is an aphrodisiac, an extract taken from the excrement of a lizard-type creature," Terrekal remarked.

There was definitely not a look of pleasure on the Captain's face, as he contemplated the options. "Not the bile. I'll take the noddles, so long as you do not tell me any more details about what it is and where it comes from."

Terrekal grinned and nodded and made his way to the large replicator behind the bar.

"What should I try?" Greep asked Nyx.

"Stegte sild is a dish from my home country, it's a fish basically." Nyx replied, trying to hide a giddy grin in his eyes. He was happy to turn the tables on Greep. "It's pickled Herring."

Greep cocked his head to the other side and clicked once. "I hate pickles," he squawked. "A pickle made of fish sounds disgusting." He looked over to Terrekal, who had just brought up the recipe on his PADD.

"That's not what it is," Terrekal said. "But it looks delicious!" He showed the Ontarion the picture.

Greep clicked again, making a throaty gurgling sound. "It looks disgusting," Greep remarked.

Terrekal shrugged. "Based on the data I have, it won't make you sick."

Greep bobbed his head for a second. "Well, if the Captain tries the frog noodles, I will try his pickle-fish."

"And since I pushed you into it," Terrekal said, "I'll try them both!"

The crowd cheered and soon there was a loud chanting of "Nyx! Nyx! Nyx!"

Staring at the dish the way his daughter looked at vegetables, Nyx had a look of distrust and apprehension on his face. He tried to remember times he had experienced worse situations than this as a coping mechanism. Stabbing a fork into the frothy noodles, he looked to Greep, “Did I ever tell you guys the story of when I crawled through a sewer in Gaspar IV?” Not waiting for an answer, he began to twirl the noodles around the fork. “It was three point nine kilometres of Cardassian waste. Stunk like absolute hell. You could not imagine the smells emanating from a decades old disposal tunnel in the middle of a fifty-two degree Celsius desert.” He raised the fork, “I was absolutely covered in it from my hair to my finger nails. I think it took me a week of high pressured sonic showers to feel clean again.”

He popped the fork full into his mouth and chewed enthusiastically. In between mouthfuls, he joked, “And I’d still rather be there right now.”

Terrekal kept true to his word and took a bite of the spaghetti frog guts. He kept his face neutral as he chewed, and neither the Captain nor Greep could tell what he thought of it.

Temple looked to the Fesarian with a wide grin, "I hope I never have to play poker with you, Terrekal." He said with a laugh, grabbing for his drink.

Greep looked down at the fried, breaded dish and his chest started to convulse, with a soft gurgling, burping noise coming from what must have been his throat. Then, in one motion, he threw back his head and charged it down on the plate, where his beak went to work messily devouring the dish. He ate the whole thing.

Nyx almost choked on his soda. "Good god, that was... fast."

Greep was silent for a few moments, his head bobbing from side to side. Then he made a small coughing noise, and three clicks came out before he squawked, "It seems I misjudged you, Captain. Your native fish was quite acceptable."

The Captain laughed, "It certainly is. A required taste, but nice nonetheless." He looked to the crowd surrounding them in the bar, "Have we entertained you now? Was that not a good show?"

The crowd applauded the Captain, and another chant of "Nyx! Nyx! Nyx!" erupted.

"How was yours, Captain?" Greep asked. "We never heard your opinion."

"That's right, you didn't." Nyx replied with a churlish grin, happy not to discuss what he had just eaten. "May I have another drink please?"

Terrekal handed him a glass of light-yellow liquid. "Lemonade a la Fesaria," Terrekal said. "Should drive out all the aftertaste. It's lightly spiked."

Temple took a deep and long gulp of the lemonade, grateful for the new taste in his mouth. He practically finished the whole glass in one go. Sensing the exhibition was coming to an end, the crowd dispersed. Nyx placed his drink on the counter and held out both hands - one to Greep, the other to Terrekal to shake. "That was a worthy competition, gentlemen."

"It sure was," Terrekal said, shaking Nyx's hand.

"Yes," Greep squawked. "I am interested in trying more of your seafood. If you don't mind, sir, could you send me some recommendations?"

"I will," Nyx replied with a nod, before turning back to Terrekal, "In all the excitement, I forgot that I was going to come thank you for something, Terrekal."

Terrekal's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Really?! Well, I won't stop you any further. What's on your mind?"

"Your reputation is proceeding you." Nyx commented, wiping his mouth. The noodle broth still lingered. "I heard you did a very good thing for Raven Mattel and Ignatius."

Terrekal grinned wide. "Just trying to help my friends. It was my idea, but Mindo did most of the work putting it together."

Nyx looked to Greep with an eyebrow raised, "Raven and Ignatius had been at-odds for some time. I heard about it through ship gossip but didn't know how to help. Enter Terrekal, who, true to form, put on a show."

Greep's head cocked to one side. "As in singing and dancing? Or is that a human metaphor I'm unfamiliar with?"

"Oh god I hope so." Nyx said with a smile, looking back to Terrekal. "Was there?"

Terrekal grinned wide and spoke with great excitement. "No, but there was plenty of drama, yelling, and crying. The show took on the theme of a Real Housewives' reunion. I knew that Raven had been on the Risa version and I thought she'd appreciate an environment where she would be encouraged to bring the emotion. She did! In a big way! We even had to stop and regroup and separate my two 'guests.' Mindo helped out with that part as well. I don't know what he said to Raven, but when she came back out, she was much more calm, focused, and she looked fabulous again. We all talked it through from there and I think everyone learned a valuable lesson."

Nyx was enjoying the tale, though wished he had been there to see it. "What a genius idea. You are very quick to put together fun activities like this, Terrekal. You have a natural talent for it."

"What a nice thing to say! Thanks Captain!" Terrekal grinned.

"I'll admit I had some reservations," Temple gave a little shrug, "When you turned up on Paradise and wanted to join the ship, but I'm glad you did."

"Me too," Terrekal said with a nod. "I had some trouble interacting with people here at first, but since taking this job I've felt very welcome. I have you, Raven, and Mindo to thank for that! That's why I did the show for Raven and Ignatius. They've been so great to me. I wanted to help them out."

"That's what a member of this crew would do." Nyx replied with purpose. "Now that doesn't mean I'm gonna forget you peer-pressuring me into eating frog intestines any time soon."

"I hope it's not grounds for a court martial!" Terrekal replied.

"Well that's only for officers." Nyx shrugged with a playful grin, "But I'm sure there's some jeffries tubes that could use a scrub, eh Greep?"

Greep cocked his head to the side. "I'll get right on it," he squawked between two sets of clicks. "Would you care to join me, Captain?"

Terrekal laughed. "I think he meant me, Greep."

"Why would you clean the jeffries tubes?" Greep squawked back.

Nyx slipped off his stool with a laugh, "I'll let you guys figure that out. Thank you for a wonderful evening, it has been gross but fun."

"Indeed, Captain," Greep replied.

"Thanks for stopping by!" Terrekal shouted as the Captain departed the noisy barcade.

OFF