Always Darkest

Posted on Mon Dec 29th, 2025 @ 2:51pm by Ensign Ian Milkovich & Petty Officer 2nd Class Raven Mattel

Mission: A Dawn on Drax
Location: Deck 5: Luna Eclipse
Timeline: Night

ON:

Ensign Milkovich was standing on the second level of the Luna Eclipse Bar, overlooking the large bay windows that saw out to the Pandora's stern. He was wearing his standard work-out gear, having spent the afternoon in the gym, he hadn't felt like putting back on his uniform or even his civvies just yet. Thankfully the ship was still filling up with new crew members, so there wasn't a lot of people around this evening that he felt the need to impress. He had spent the day on the new Bridge, getting used to the new panel layouts and running through all of the necessary pre-launch drills with his Chief.

The ship was still stationed in the ship yard's large dock but beyond its metal frame was the moon itself. A drink casually in his right hand, Ian was staring out at the moon with a contemplative expression on his face. He knew that in a few hours, the Earth and moon would rotate around and the sun would soon over-take the moon; its bright light shining to indicate the new day on Earth. The Pandora's final day in space-dock before she was launched into her new mission. They didn't know much about what that new mission exactly would be just yet, but the excitement from everyone else was palpable. And yet, here was Ian Milkovich - basking in the quiet solitude of the lonely moon. He was left remembering an old expression about how it was 'always darkest before the dawn' and he was feeling that inside right now.

Raven had seen the man standing on his own as she had entered and contemplated whether he was going through a "I want to be noticed" or "I want to be left alone" kind of situation. After receiving her own drink from the lovely bar-tender downstairs, she carefully sauntered up to the second level to gauge his mood. They hadn't spoken much since their time on the M.S.S Qaraq, but that mission was a bonding experience for everyone who went on it. That time hunting for the Pandora, alone in that merchant vessel, gave them a connection onboard the Pandora that few others could have. She was wearing her uniform, the gold of Operations on her shoulders, something they had in common.

"At ease, officer." Raven quipped as she tentatively approached.

Ian raised an eyebrow at the visitor, but smiled a little when he saw who it was. "Petty Officer, good evening."

"Oh so formal." Raven pouted, "And here I was thinking we've been approaching 'friends' after all this time."

"Of course," Ian gave a little laugh. Sometimes he wished he had her forthrightness. "That uniform still throws me off."

"I was more used to a tutu and roller-skates." Raven nodded, "But the uniform has grown on me. I like wearing it now."

"You should," Ian agreed, taking a swig of his synthenol. "You've earned it."

"Especially tonight." Raven let out a deep breath. "I was up in the Sensor Pod stringing together lights and setting up fake trees."

"Huh?" A look of genuine confusion crossed his face, but then he realised. "Ohh. For the Temples?"

"Yeah," Raven smiled a little, "You heard about that? It looked like a blast, those kids are gonna love it."

"I bet." Ian replied, but his face fell. "Must be nice." He cleared his throat. "Sounds like a lot of fun."

He turned back to look at the moon again, a wryness on his lips. Raven's face showed a look of concern.

"So why are you looking so glum?" Raven enquired, leaning against the railing and trying to find what he was looking outside the window for. "Aren't you happy to be back on the Pandora? Especially after everything we went through to get 'er back."

"Very." Ian replied, immediately, "It just means..." He sighed, "It's hard to explain."

"Try me." Raven said warmly, genuinely meaning it, too, "You can talk to me."

Ian laughed a little to himself. "I know. I guess I meant that I don't know exactly how to say it." He pursed his lips together, and shrugged a little, "I have a lot of opportunities ahead of me. I am still young uh in my career and could spend a lot of time here on the Pandora, or see what else there is out there."

"That's true," Raven nodded, trying to understand the problem, "I was in a similar position myself. I chose to request the Pandora. Commander Mindo and Captain Temple were happy to help make it happen."

"Exactly. I did, too. We've become a family here," Ian chose his words carefully, "As you said, after everything we've been through - I feel a sense of responsibility to stay with this crew."

"Responsibility?" Raven raised an eyebrow. "But not a desire to stay?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I want to be here," Ian immediately said, "I just don't know if I should be taking advantage of the other opportunities that are out there. I... " He pursed his lips again, "I have nowhere else to go to other than Starfleet. I feel it is my duty to have the life that my parents didn't have."

Raven tilted her head slightly, realising she knew virtually nothing about her friend's personal life. Come to think of it, she wondered, he had never really mentioned it before either. She frowned, "Oh?"

"They were killed when I was very young," Ian quietly revealed, dropping his head into his chest, "There was an accident... on their ship.... no survivors." He took in a deep breath, "I had no one left, my whole family was gone just like that. It took me years to pluck up the courage to travel off-world again, let alone on a Starfleet vessel. Now that we've got this bond on the Pandora, all I want to do is keep everyone safe as much as I can."

"I'm sorry." Raven reached across and gently touched his arm, "That's very noble of you, Ian. But if you feel that way, why are you questioning about other opportunities?"

Ian took in a sharp breath and it got caught in his throat. After a moment, he whispered, "What if it happens again?"

"Oh of course." Raven closed the remaining distance between them and wrapped up the Ensign in a warm hug. "You don't want to lose your family again." She said and Ian nodded. "You really think leaving will help avoid that?"

Ian wiped away a tear that was threatening to fall down his cheek. "I know that it won't, but I'm still afraid that it will."

Raven squeezed him tightly, "That's a horrible burden to carry on your mind."

"It's all I can think of," Ian admitted, "While at the same time, wondering if I shouldn't be getting out there and joining different ships, different missions? Should I spend more time on the front lines, or in a space station, or maybe a colony? There's so much to do here." He paused and added, "I mean, there's just opportunities in Starfleet that I thought I would never have."

"Ooh come on now, you have time for that, too." Raven said with an encouraging smile, "Just because you choose to stay on the Pandora for a little longer doesn't mean you'll miss out on anything else. Look at me, not so long ago I was a waitress in a holodeck bar. Now I'm a serving member of the crew. Your life can change so much." Ian nodded in agreement, "Anything is possible - but not all at once. Give yourself time to find out where in Starfleet you want to focus on. And even then, you're still free to change your mind and change your life later on. Nothing's stopping you from exploring everything out there - just a little at a time."

"I guess so," Ian managed a smile, "I have plenty of time on my hands."

"Exactly." Raven said, with an excited emphasis, "You don't have to make any major decisions just yet. And who knows, you might find something on the Pandora worth focusing on that isn't just a persistent sense of responsibility."

Ian laughed, "Maybe."

"And the best part, is that you get to stay here with me until you decide." Raven smirked, "And of course the whole gang, too, but mostly me."

"That's just going to make it harder to leave," Ian remarked but he was smiling just the same. "If that's what I end up doing."

"Good!" Raven declared, "You don't want to be one of those cold-hearted career types who don't give a damn about their crew and only focus on getting promoted. Those pip-chasers out there. Blegh!" She stuck out her tongue, "Those people are such bores. It's okay that you care about your team."

Ian nodded, giving a chuckle at her description of the pip-chasers. He knew she was right. "I know. I wouldn't still be here if I didn't."

"Well that's alright then." Raven shrugged, "Problem solved, eh Ensign?"

"For now." Ian agreed, "I'm curious to see what new mission Starfleet has for the Pandora."

Raven nodded with a "Hmmm. Oh they must be cooking up something good." She agreed, "And look at all the work they've done onboard. It looks brand new."

Ian laughed, "It looks perfect now." His smile had a little distance to it, but he shook it away. "We'll see the sun soon." He nodded to the view outside. "Almost time for dawn."

"Perfect! Time is, once again, on our side," Raven raised an eyebrow, "Plenty of time for one more drink and a chance to greet some of these brand-spanking-new officers who are coming onboard."

"Looking for a ship romance are we, Raven?" Ian quipped, his lips parting into a genuine smile now. "Putting out a welcome dish?"

"Just something to nibble on, darling," Raven shrugged her shoulders with carefree nonchalance. "I am not looking to put my boots under anyone else's bunk but my own."

Ian laughed, "Well there's no harm in making some new friends, is there?"

"That's more like it." Raven beamed as they clinked their glasses together in a cheers. She hooked her arm around his and lead the way back down to the main floor. "Come now, Ian. We must mingle!"

Ian let out a chortle as he allowed Raven to drag him downstairs and - thankfully - out of his mood.

OFF