Clearing the Air

Posted on Mon Jun 22nd, 2020 @ 1:40am by Captain Nycolas Temple & Lieutenant Kalin Brennan-Griffin PhD
Edited on on Tue Jul 7th, 2020 @ 2:14pm

Mission: Into the Wild
Location: Sickbay

A Mission Post by Captain Nycolas Temple & Lieutenant Kalin 'Shae' Brennan PhD
Mission: Into The Wild
Location: Sickbay
Timeline:
Mon Mar 12th, 2018 @ 3:56am

It was getting late and the tension on the Pandora was finally starting to wind down; the Carnage had been scuttled meaning Salvaxe was safe, and all members of the away team (plus herself) had come home safely. Well, relatively safely, hence the reason Shae was headed for Sickbay; she hadn't been called, not yet anyway, but she wanted to deal with this talk sooner rather than later. Shae padded into the medical bay, approaching Nyx where he rested on a biobed after the treatment to his leg; no longer wearing the skin-tight suit and human appearance with the tight braid, Shae once again looked like her usual self, vulpine ears and tail with white fur and her blue gaze was once again soft and gentle.

"You look like you've seen better days," Shae said softly to Nyx to break the silent calm that had settled in Sickbay.

Nyx was lying motionless on his bed, eyes staring vacantly into the nothingness. His face was glum, except for the little patch of redness from the slap administered by his wife. It had somehow stung worse than the crossbow through his leg. He slowly turned his head and looked to Brennan with a quiet nod, "It hasn't been a stand-out day in my career, Lieutenant."

Shae pulled up a chair and sat down. "Captains shouldn't take such risks," she said, but there was no hint of censure or scolding in her tone; it wasn't like he needed an ear-lashing, the mark on his cheek hinted that he'd already had one. "Not that I have room to talk; as a single parent, I should have had the good sense not to join you."

Nyx nodded again, "Sometimes the ends justify the means. Sometimes. But I don't ask my crew to do anything that I wouldn't do myself." He shrugged, "I'm also very clear on the things I would ask my crew to do, Shae. I would never have asked you to space jump in the middle of a battle onto an enemy vessel."

"You didn't have to ask, and it's not like I've never done it before," Shae replied, averting her eyes with a slight blush. "Anyway, it was the only way to get onto the Carnage and worked, but if it makes you feel any better I can promise to never take such a risk again." Of course, there were other risks she could take, but that was neither here nor there.

"No. The point is that I wouldn't have ask that of you, and I shouldn't need promises to make me feel better." Nyx said firmly. "You've been cagey with me on your past before, but I know the kind of activities people like you and me used to get up to. But that's in the past. We aren't solo agents on dark ops anymore, we're part of a crew. Your job was to help Nash with the Mendazians, not perform some silent assassin business on the Carnage."

"Captain, I didn't do it because I wanted to do it," Shae replied. "You are my Captain and my friend, if you would like a little clarification about my past, all you have to do is ask. And I would go to Hell and back to see you safely home, but I don't enjoy the risks of the space jump or what I had to do once I was on the Carnage; I only left Salvaxe because you called for me. "

At this, Nyx firmly shook his head, "I didn't want to have this argument in front of the others on the Carnage, but I did not ask for you. The only comms I made before leaving for the mission were to Griffin and my wife. Nothing else. I simply didn't have the time, so I don't know what message you're talking about."

Shae blinked in surprise. "Sir, you must be mistaken," she stated with a shake of her head. "These big ears aren't just for show and I know your voice; there was considerable interference on the channel, but I know what I heard, I wouldn't have left my task otherwise."

"What channel? I had no contact with anyone once onboard the Carnage." Nyx replied softly and then he gave a sigh, speaking carefully now. "You said you'd go to hell and back for us, I appreciate that. I can understand that maybe you just really wanted to help us out, and you assumed this was the only way to do it?"

"This isn't possible," Shae said with disbelief, her mind reeling. "I'm not in the habit of disobeying direct orders, it was your voice I heard, I swear! You said- or whoever it was that called me, said that my unique skillset was needed; I didn't want to believe that you would call for my- my other skillset, so at first I thought maybe you needed me on the Pandora, to do something in Astrometrics, I don't know... But then when I returned to the ship and learned that you and a small team were on the Carnage and that you had been unable to transmit the signal that you made it aboard... Sir- Nyx... Cailus was growing worried that something had compromised your mission and he wanted to send another team over, and then I realized that this must have been the reason you called for me, only you didn't, but I didn't know that at the time, so I improvised. I should have realized something wasn't right if I got a call when your beacon couldn't transmit to the Pandora, I should have realized it when my own beacon wouldn't transmit, but I was so concerned with your safety and focused on the mission, I just didn't notice... Nyx, I'm sorry, I really thought it was you who called me."

The Captain shifted slightly in his bed and reached out his hand to Shae, "Okay, okay I believe you. But if that is the case, we have a serious security problem here, and we're going to need to investigate it. I can't have the safety of my officers being compromised like this again. We're going to need to bring in Cailus and do a full analysis of all comms between the Pandora and Salvaxe."

"I'm actually more worried about how someone managed to fool my ears," Shae replied. "I was trained to listen for certain cues that can indicate if a voice is computer generated, and there was interference so I can't be 100% certain, but that did not sound like a computer generated voice."

"Well if it sounded believable to you, it would definitely sound believable to someone else." Nyx remarked, "And I can't have someone impersonating the Captain on this ship." He gave a short laugh, "Unless they're prepared to do my paperwork as well."

His small jest managed to break the tension and get a small laugh from her. "Aye, that paperwork is a killer," Shae said with a smile. "Seriously though, I'm glad you're alright and that everything worked out in our favor... this time, and I will be more mindful of suspicious orders given over the comms in the future."

Nyx managed a sigh and he felt a relief of the tension leaving his body for a moment. Truthfully, he was just deflecting the argument he should have had with his wife, but he’d found himself unable to say it at the time. He looked to Shae with a half smile. “It did work out, your intervention on the Carnage helped save the day. Although Tisar was only pretending to have betrayed us, I was still at Balek’s mercy. And if he’d gotten close enough to use that Claw, who knows what damage he would have inflicted on the Pandora. I should be thanking you, I’m sorry for acting so ungrateful.”

"No, I don't see you as ungrateful," Shae assured him. "You were a good Captain and you were simply reacting to the discrepencies in our enounters, and rightly so given the possible breach in Security." Even still, though their response seemed more relaxed, she couldn't help but feel like there was... something, not quite a wedge in between them, but there was something still hanging in the air and she couldn't figure out what.

"Thank you for saying that." Nyx replied. "You know, it's actually lucky this mysterious call did come through so you were able to get to the Carnage." He paused, frowning for a moment, "I'm going to have to make a report on what happened over there, and whether lethal force was justified."

"I did my best to keep the casualties to a minimum, but that was a bit difficult seeing as how as I was trained to leave no witnesses," Shae remarked sheepishly. "I supposed I could have found a less lethal means of entering the ship, and I probably shouldn't have rigged my suit to explode as a distraction thus killing the men I hid away with it... But after that, if I could disable them without killing them I did, but I still feel like I should have tried harder to keep those I killed alive," she admitted with no shortage of guilt and regret, each and every life she took weighing heavily on her soul; Shae loathed killing, at the core of her being she was such a gentle and compassionate person, but it was so easy to simply go too far when she was channelling that part of her past. "I know I helped the mission to succede, but I hope I didn't make things more difficult for you in the long run."

Nyx's jaw was agape, as the details rolled out of this furry scientist's mouth, "I... well..." He shifted uncomfortably in his bio bed, wishing he had the security of his desk to hide behind. "Any lethal force committed by my crew is my responsibility, and it is my job to report on our actions to Starfleet." Again, he paused. "You were the only one in Engineering at the time, correct? Smith and T'Kemi hadn't arrived yet?"

"That is correct, but I'm used to working alone in this capacity," Shae replied. "My after action report is already on your desk for more details, but there were twenty personnel covering the various areas of the Carnage's Main Engineering section. I made entry and disabled them one by one, but there were three who would no go down without a fight... Not like they were all that skilled as opponents, those three were just stubborn, they would not go down! Even still, looking back on my actions I can't help but wonder if I could have found a way to secure them without killing them."

Nyx took a deep breath through his teeth, the grimace evident on his face. "It's important that the field reports submitted by Smith, yourself, and I, all convey the same message - that our actions during the operation were necessary in the defence of Starfleet personnel, the ship, or the Mendazians under our protection. I can't have phrases like 'Looking back at my actions, I can't help but wonder', written in those reports, as they're red flag terms and I'm looking for nothing but green ones. Everything that happened, from your space jump, to me inviting Tisar Zemel onto the Carnage, and what happened to Balek, were necessities in the pursuit of Starfleet's goals."

"Really Nyx? You say that like I've never had to fill out an after action report before," Shae replied, somewhat offended. "Of course I know that in the heat of the moment you only have seconds to make a snap decision; logic and reason inform me that I had no other alternatives and my report reflects only the facts and not my feelings on the matter, but I despise taking lives and so I have regrets, and I thought you of all people, my friend, could relate to such sentiments. I apologise if I was mistaken, I wont share my feelings with you anymore."

Nyx sighed and shook his head. He felt the conversation getting away from him and that Shae was getting upset, so he tried to change tone. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired from a long day on the Carnage. I think I’m on edge still. But I’m also nervous about how to report this, it was my first major operation as a Captain and I know the brass will be carefully following how I handle myself. I don’t want to give them any reason to take the Pandora away from me, though I don’t mean to discredit your feelings in the process.”

To say that Shae was upset was an understatement. "I know we're all allowed to have our doubts," Shae said, a slight quiver entering her voice as she rose from her chair, "but to see you doubt me hurts more than you can know. I know you're stressed, but we all are, so I'm going to leave and you can sleep it off, and maybe tomorrow we can discuss this like reasonable people. I'll pick up my report and hold onto it until you can figure out how you want to proceed; I wrote it on a PaDD, meaning it's not in the main computer yet so it won't raise any red flags if you want me to submit a different report that's more to your liking." Though she wondered what she had done, either in her duties or as his friend, to make him think her report would be anything less than factual or utterly professional.

The Captain buried his face in his hands, completely frustrated with this sudden downward spiral. He wished he could explain why he was being so pedantic, why he's being so careful about what to report. "Shae, please. You just have to trust that I'm looking after...."

Nyx trailed off as the doors from the corridor slid open, followed by the loud rumbling of two hover-beds struggling to enter the room. A small team of medics were accompanying the beds, as they had to physically keep pushing the over-burdened transporters to make it move. On top of the two gurneys was one very large coroner's bag, zipped up over what was clearly the bulbous frame of a large deceased man. The medics breathed heavily as they pushed the body through the Sickbay and into the morgue. Nyx eyed the commotion with a blank expression.

"...Our best interests." He finished softly.

The grav-lifts carrying the dead body did not go unnoticed by Shae, but she was filled with such shock and dismay that she paid the body little heed. His words hurt so bad it felt like she had been physically struck, and she wondered if she had been wrong to allow a friendship to form between them.

"Why would you say something like that to me?" Shae said ever so softly. The last time she had heard words like that, it was to justify the torture being done to her. Why was he pushing her away like this? In the sadness of her eyes, he could see the walls going back up around her heart as she slowly backed away from him, standing at a respectable distance for an Officer reporting to her Captain. "I apologize for bothering you at this hour, Captain, I was just relieved that you're alright. You need rest now, so please excuse me, sir, and call me once you're back on your feet so we can debrief properly," she said, her voice numb and far too professional.

Nyx could only sigh, clearly he wasn't going to get through. So he adopted the same emotionless tone in return, "Very well, Lieutenant. I will see you at oh-nine-hundred tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, sir," Shae replied, then turned and made a hasty retreat. As the Sickbay doors closed behind her, she stopped for a moment to take a shuddering breath; what had just happened in there?!

One of the medics returned into the Sickbay and handed Nyx a PADD, showing the authorisation to destroy Balek's body. Nyx typed in his codes without blinking an eye and nodded to the young officer as he handed back the device. Nyx looked back to the doorway where Brennan had been and he sighed once more. 'One mess gets cleaned up, and I step right into another.' He thought ruefully to himself.

OFF