Playdate

Posted on Mon Jun 22nd, 2020 @ 5:13am by Lieutenant Kalin Brennan-Griffin PhD & Emilie Temple & Eva Griffin
Edited on on Tue Jul 7th, 2020 @ 2:44pm

Mission: Divided We Fall

A Mission Post by Emilie Temple & Lieutenant Kalin 'Shae' Brennan PhD & Aoife Brennan
Mission: Divided We Fall
Location:
Timeline:
Tue Apr 10th, 2018 @ 7:24am

It was rare that children of Officers would find other children their age on a Starfleet vessel, so Shae felt doubly blessed that not only were Aoife and Katrine the same age but they seemed to have become instant friends since meeting, and Katrine was helping Aoife become bolder and more outgoing. this friendship was a wonderful thing for Aoife indeed, so it was with great pride that Shae led Aoife through halls of the ship to the CO's quarters where their little girls could play. Shae also had an alternative reason for visiting; apparently Emilie was not coping well with Nyx's actions, so Shae had agreed to talk with her to help her gain an understanding and acceptance of this part of Nyx.

With Nyx away on deck visits, Emilie was helping Katrine to colour on the floor of their quarters. Katrine approached colouring as she did most things, with enthusiasm and excitement and very little aforethought. Penguins were green, the sun was purple, and there was an intersecting shape in the middle of the page that would have made M. C. Escher proud. Emilie just encouraged her creativity and the relatively peaceful way in which her daughter would colour without her usual shouting and dancing around. Little victories were pivotal to surviving parenthood.

Katrine didn't even stir when the door chimed, and Emilie took that has a good sign she was okay to get up off the floor and answer it. Pressing the door pad, Emilie gave a neighbourly smiled when she saw who was coming to visit. "Well hello there!"

"Hello!" Shae responded cheerfully, then looked down to Aoife. "Say hello, Aoife," Shae reminded her daughter, and then Aoife chirped with a friendly wave. "I hope we're not too early; Aoife was getting excited about the playdate, so we might have to make these a regular thing."

Emilie waved back, as she turned to call out to Katrine. "Look who's here!"

Katrine bounded up to the doorway as Emilie stepped aside to let Shae and Aoife inside. "Aoife!" Katrine cried enthusiastically.

"We certainly could." Emilie replied to Shae. "Katrine, how about you show Aoife your colouring?"

"Can I?" Katrine asked earnestly.

"Absolutely, and then maybe you can show her how to do it too," Shae said with a warm smile, then she held out Aoife's hand for Katrine to take. With Katrine now holding her steady, Aoife made her way into the quarters on unsteady legs, but she was doing it and Shae couldn't have been more proud of both of the girls. "Look at that," Shae observed with amazement as Katrine and Aoife settled onto the floor to paint together. "Emilie, you and Katrine both have done an amazing job helping Aoife to adapt and getting her out of her comfort zone. I know it's not easy, Aoife can be a trial even on her good days, so I can't even begin thank you enough. Although to kick off the thanks, I brought tea and cookies," Shae said, offering a box of gingersnaps she had made herself using Huyo's kitchen.

Emilie gave a warm smile watching Aoife and Katrine go off and play, and she squealed a little at the sight of the cookies. "You know a way to a girl's heart." She laughed. "Thank you, Shae."

Moving over to the kitchen, Emilie started to brew up the tea and set out the gingersnaps carefully on a plate. She grinned as the kettle boiled, loving the opportunity to make a real tea instead of replicating one for a change. Turning back to Shae, she said, "I'm so glad to see Aoife is doing well, it's a honestly a pleasure. And to be honest, I think Aoife has taught Katrine just as much in return. She's learning to share, to be a little more calm and less over-enthusiastic, and she has a friend to play with. It's made our transition here so much easier."

"I'm glad our presence here has made things better for you," Shae replied as she watched adoringly as the girls played. "I worried how Aoife would do around other children; I mean you saw how subdued she was, and Katrine was so excitable when they first met." Shae paused for a good giggle. "I remember Nyx had to go rescue her because she got stuck in the jungle gym! And then to hear weeks later that Katrine was helping Aoife play, oh, it took my breath away."

Emilie laughed as well, as the kettle finally finished and she was pouring out the teas. "Well don't tell him I told you, but he got stuck two more times after that. He just doesn't learn." She carried the two cups carefully by the handles in one hand while holding the plate in her other, and set them all down on the table. "It's been wonderful having another family so close."

"Oh my stars, I bet that was something to see!" Shae replied with a giggle. But then her expression grew somber as she watched Emilie. "You know, it's occurred to me that maybe no one's asked you how you are doing, and not as a mother keeping order in the home, but you, how are you holding up? I know there was some craziness when you and Katrine came aboard, and now with the Carnage; it's okay to be rattled and I'm here if you need someone to talk to."

“I’ve definitely been rattled.” Emilie nodded. “Sometimes I feel... I don’t know, inadequate? Because I haven’t had the Starfleet training like you, Nyx, and everyone else. You guys are ready to bounce back and look forward to the next adventure, meanwhile my head’s still in last week trying to come to terms with what’s happened then. I thought adjusting to the false gravity and enclosed spaces would be the biggest hurdle of living on a starship. I actually thought I’d get bored! But it’s really been difficult coping with the constant activity and events.”

"Yes, we're trained to be resilient, but we still get rattled too," Shae replied with a sympathetic smile. "In fact, in most cases our training simply takes over and we seem alright on the outside, but inside we're often still reeling, and that's okay, there's no shame in feeling like you're caught in a heavy current, you just have to find some outlet that helps you manage. For me, any time I spend with Aoife is enough to help me forget my troubles for a while, sometimes I go to the holodeck and shoot my bow, Cailus practices Vulcan meditation and makes ships in bottles with what little free time he has, and of course we have each other to help relieve the pressure; just the same, Nyx looks to you to find his calm, and that may seem like a lot of pressure when you already feel like you're struggling, but he can help you too if you let him."

Emilie smiled, "It sounds like you guys have a good system in place already. Nyx keeps saying how much he wants people to make the ship feel like home, and to live as normally as possible. You've all got your hobbies, and each other, that's wonderful. You're an inspiration to me, Shae." She paused and sighed a little. "I'm still finding my way, I guess. I used to love walking the canals near our apartment in Copenhagen, stopping in at a little cafe to watch the sailboats. I miss the sound of the water, the feel of the cobblestones underfoot. The promenade here is lovely, but it's not the same. It's bright and manicured, not... real? It's hard for me to make this ship feel like home when everything's so artificial."

"The arboretum is not artificial," Shae pointed out. "And have you attempted to recreate Copenhagen in the holodeck? Nothing can ever quite replace the real deal, but recreating locations of personal significance is a big part of many Officers' means of decompressing and coping with extended tours of duty. The program where I go to shoot my bow is a recreation of my childhood home in Ireland; perhaps I could help you with your own program so you can resume old habit to help you feel more comfortable here?"

“No, I haven’t.” Emilie admitted, “To be honest I’m not sure what my permissions are as a civilian on a Starfleet vessel. I should ask Nyx, given it was his childhood home more than mine, but I don’t want to overburden him. Do you think... no, never mind.” She smiled hesitantly as she sipped her tea.

"No no, tell me," Shae urged with a warm smile.

“Well, it’s just, I loved Copenhagen but the place I was most happy was my colony, on Lucis.” Emilie explained. “There are no programs for it, of course, and nothing survived from the city’s destruction. But I can still see it, in my mind at least. I knew every bit of that town, and the Central Gardens, that’s what I loved the most. So green and peaceful, perhaps a bit like Ireland? I would have loved to have taken Katrine there.”

"Well I can tell you that civilians do have access to the holodeck; some of the more advanced features, like simulations used for advanced scientific and engineering testing, phaser range qualifications, and hand to hand training might be off-limits, but if you want to recreate Copenhagen or Lucis, you can!" Shae assured her. "You should even be able to access the library database on both locations, which would include photos and videos to help with the recreation. If you'd like, I can reserve some time in the holodeck, we can get Huyo to make us a nice picnic, and I can show you how it works and we can spend some time building; how does that sound?"

“Oh that would be wonderful.” Emilie beamed with glee. “Thank you Shae, that would be marvellous. Do you mind if we keep it a secret from Nyx? I want him to be surprised. We got married in the Central Gardens, and it would make a nice gift to recreate that. After the troubles we’ve been through, I think we’d both need it. I would be forever in your favour if you were able to help me.”

"What Nyx doesn't know can't hurt him," Shae said playfully. "I think you're going to enjoy this; having a familiar place to go to is nice, but there is something wonderfully cathartic about building a location from scratch. Or maybe that's just me, Cailus tells me I can get a little too excited about nerdy things," she added sheepishly.

Emilie laughed, “Well that is your job, you own that title. I think the program will really help me to relax and maybe not miss solid ground so much. Somewhere we can go as a family; somewhere perhaps your family can come visits too? That would be so nice.”

"Oh, most definitely, and if you ever want to visit my program for Wicklow, I would be more than happy to give you access," Shae replied. With a happy sigh, Shae looked over to Katrine and Aoife painting; Aoife was still having some trouble with her fine motor skills, so more paint was ending up on her than the paper, but with much amusement Shae noticed a shape that could almost be a fish on Aoife's paper. "You know, the good news in all of this is that it seems that Katrine is adapting beautifully; I'd imagine that life here would be quite unbearable if she was having trouble adjusting as well."

“Oh that girl is unphased by everything.” Emilie said, casting an eye over to her daughter. “It’s all just an adventure to her. I was a nervous wreck and she’s singing along to her favourite movie. It’s remarkable.”

"Children are rather wonderful like that. Aoife wasn't nearly so adaptable at first, but now I think she's doing quire well; she still gets scared when the ship rocks, but she calms easily enough now," Shae said, smiling at the girls and the mess Aoife was making. Then she returned her full attention to Emilie, deciding to finally broach a subject she had been skirting around for most of this visit. "Emilie, do you mind if I ask you something personal?"

Emilie looked to the Lieutenant, her friend, and nodded warmly.

Shae hesitated a moment before finally sighing and coming out with her question. "Do you want Nyx to retire?"

Taken aback by the question - not because it was untrue, but simply something she hadn't said out loud before - Emilie shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She took a very long pause before sighing. "Yes... and no. You see, when Lucis fell and we returned to Earth to live, Nyx took time off from all his duties. It was good to have him at home, especially as I was pregnant, but I could see he was aimless. A man without a purpose becomes ridiculous. So I could understand why he eventually chose to return to Starfleet. But he promised me it would just be regular, active duty, climbing the officer's ladder. No more of the Fed Security, secret operations." Emilie paused and bit her lip. "He said it's okay to talk about that with you, right?"

"I'm aware of what he used to do," Shae answered; while Nyx hadn't specifically given her permission to discuss any of this, Shae knew how to handle this conversation with discretion, so she let Emilie assume whatever answer she needed from that response.

"Well, he did as he said. Normal, regular, Starfleet service." Emilie continued. "And even when he got the Pandora, he said it was a scientific and diplomatic mission; though the area was dangerous, he was still a novice Captain on a regulation business. And yet, in this last mission, as soon as he saw the chance, he went undercover! It was back to secrets and possibly not returning home again, and I was completely livid with him for that. It felt like a betrayal. So yes, I wish he would retire from that life, like he promised he would. I moved here to support him as a Captain, to keep our family together. I didn't come here just to become his widow."

"Emilie," Shae started with a sigh. "Science can be dangerous too. You saw first hand in the Killing Field; there's little that Starfleet has come across that's more dangerous than Dark Matter. And maybe that's on me, maybe I should have figured out sooner what was in the Inconnu Expanse before we nearly killed ourselves in it. Most of the time, Science can be safe and easy-going, sometimes even down-right boring, dreadfully so, but when it comes to exploring the unknown one must proceed with caution because otherwise you nearly drive your ship into Dark Matter. As for the Carnage, dealing with them was a matter of diplomacy; our actions in the Killing Fields, using torpedoes to find a safe route out, allowed the Ravagers to find Salvaxe and we couldn't abandon those people to the Ravagers. Now put yourself in Nyx's shoes, how would you have handled the situation? Diplomacy had failed, the Ravagers refused to negotiate, and even before the Carnage's shields were up, we couldn't beam a team over, our transporters were inoperable; we had a small craft that would get us in, but it didn't have the room to allow us to send a full team, so we had to send the right people to get the job done. Now maybe Nyx was too quick to send himself and you have every right to be upset about that, but no one was more qualified for this task than he, and if I had to make an assessment of the matter than I'd say he made the right call. It was still bloody foolish and he'll be hearing about it from Command for ages, but sometimes that is the price for doing what is right. He doesn't make these choices lightly or to spite you; this ship has a complement of over three hundred people, he's responsible for all those lives, not just you and Katrine, not anymore. But this is what you wanted for him."

Emilie sat quietly for a moment, fidgeting with her fingers. She took a breath a few times, trying to find a response, then closed her mouth again. She looked to Katrine and Aoife playing peacefully on the ground, making a mess as usual. Maybe she should have been more honest with Shae when the CSO asked whether Emilie wanted Nyx to retire. The answer was 'yes', even if it meant Nyx would be aimless, there was a quiet voice that persisted in her head that simply didn't want to have to deal with killing fields, dark matter, and dangerous assignments. It would be so simple back on Earth. But Shae was right, now that they were here, now that she had made the choice to join the Pandora, it wasn't just about her and Katrine anymore. Nyx was a Captain, and this was their cross to bear.

Finally she nodded. "Okay." She breathed. "Thank you for that, Shae. I guess I'll just have to try harder in my role to support Nyx and, by doing so, support the ship. I understand that, I do, but I can't promise I won't get freaked out about killing fields and dark matter."

At that, Shae smiled warmly. "No one will ever tell you that you are wrong to be freaked out or upset or distressed," Shae promised Emilie. "Officers get scared too, I know I was quite rattled in the Killing Fields, and as an Officer I was expected continue about my duties as usual, but once I was off duty it hit me hard. With time, you'll learn to cope, you just need to be patient with Nyx, and with yourself. As for your support, you're already doing so much just by being here; Nyx jumped through a lot of hoops to make it so that you could be here and live comfortably, and you met him halfway by coming. But support goes both way, he will have to learn how to balance duty with family life so he can be there for you as well, just remember not to hold some of his decisions against him, like when he has to put duty before you and Katrine. Above all, remember that on a starship nothing travels faster than gossip, so your disagreement in Sickbay and the slap you gave him are fairly common knowledge now; but you are allowed to disagree with him, it will help keep him grounded, just keep it private and try not to hold a grudge."

"Oh." Emilie sighed, holding her hands to her face. "That. I'm blaming it on the pregnancy hormones but I was just so angry. Again, I was feeling betrayed by him, and how eagerly he went off on that mission. It was just..." She shook her head and sighed, trying to shake away that nagging feeling she had in her stomach over that day. "Anyway, we talked it over and I apologised. So if you could kindly spread that gossip around, I would appreciate it."

"Emilie dear, it's fine; we servicemen do so love our gossip but-" Then something occurred to Shae, a revelation she had not been aware of before. "Did- did you just say 'pregnancy'?" Cailus had honored his promise to Nyx to not tell anyone until their fearless leader had told his circle of friends, and that meant not telling Shae, so she was delightfully surprised to learn that Emilie was pregnant. "You're having a baby? Oh, congratulations! You must be so excited! I guess that explains why I've noticed a bit of extra pep in Nyx's gait as of late," she remarked with amusement. "As for the gossip, don't worry about it, it's already running its course and will be forgotten soon enough, especially when this new news starts making its rounds," Shae assured Emilie with a warm smile. Stars above, Shae was already starting to brainstorm a hat and some slippers she could knit for the baby!

"Oops." Emilie stifled a giggle as she held her hand to her mouth. "I've got to stop doing that! Nyx and I were supposed to be telling people together but he's been busy and things have been strained, and I keep blurting it out accidentally. So yes, about three months now. Morning sickness is still getting to me sometimes but otherwise it's been very exciting." She couldn't help but grin, sharing the news this time around was certainly a lot more fun than with Katrine. Back then they had no one really to tell, except Nyx's mother, so sometimes Emilie forgot to just enjoy the moment.

"I remember that feeling all too well," Shae replied with a knowing nod; when she carried Aoife, it was more like 'morning, noon, and night' sickness. "Before I left Earth to embark with the Pandora, my mum made sure to send along plenty of fresh tea for when replicated simply wouldn't do, including some calming chamomile and mint; I have a fairly decent supply and I'm happy to share it if you think it would help."

"Yes, please. Anything that helps would be greatly appreciated." Emilie sat back in her chair, feeling like she had just been through a therapy session. She smiled to Shae, "I'm so lucky to have a friend like you onboard."

Katrine came bounding over, he hands covered in paint. "Min mooooooor, I made a spill!" She whined, wiggling her green fingers threatening close to Emilie's face.

Emilie could only shake her head, "Of course you did. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and maybe we can make a snack for Aoife and Shae?"

"Yeeeeees!" Katrine shouted as she ran off towards the bathroom.

"NOT ON THE TOWELS!" Emilie yelled as she ran after her daughter.

Shae giggled at the energetic Katrine, then she rose from her chair to kneel beside Aoife to see how she was doing. Aoife would need a clean up as well, it was possible that there was more paint on her dress than the paper, but the child was having fun, and it was nothing a run through the garment processor wouldn't fixed.

"Aoife love, would you like to show me what you've drawn?" Shae said lovingly as she looked at the paper with paint haphazardly smeared across it. Aoife picked up the paper to show her mother, but then paint began to run down the page, so Shae had to take the page and set it back down. "No no no, little one, we don't want to ruin your beautiful picture," Shae said proudly of the mess of uncoordinated colors, but in all that mess there looked to be a shape that could almost look like a fish, and of that Shae was so proud; Aoife was pushing her boundaries in leaps and bounds, and it wouldn't be much longer before she was catching up to Katrine's level. "Once it's dry, I think I'm going to hang that up in my office!" Shae said proudly. "But for now, let's get you cleaned up; I heard Mrs Emilie and Katrine say they were going to make a snack!" And at that, Aoife chirped excitedly and raised her arms for Shae to pick her up.

OFF