Manly Chit-Chat

Posted on Sun Jun 21st, 2020 @ 5:07am by Cailus Griffin & Captain Nycolas Temple
Edited on on Tue Jul 7th, 2020 @ 1:20pm

Mission: Into the Wild
Location: Observation Lounge
Timeline: Current

A Mission Post by Lieutenant JG Cailus Griffin & Commander Nycolas Temple
Mission: Into The Wild
Location: Observation Lounge
Timeline: Current
Fri Jun 23rd, 2017 @ 11:54am

The Observation Lounge of the Pandora was, relatively speaking, not that impressive. After all, there were many other places for someone to watch the stars. There was an entire part of the ship suspended above the engineering hull that dedicated to that, and in any case, the Pandora was a starship, not a warship. Expansive, wide viewports were everywhere, even in crew quarters. The crew of the Pandora couldn't get away from the stars if they tried.

Thus came the Observation Lounge's most prized quality, and why Cailus had come: nobody ever went there. For half an hour now after completing his shift, Cailus had simply stood alone and watched the blackness of space, dotted with stationary pinpricks of light and washes of colour; the ship wasn't at warp at the moment. The dour Security Chief would typically be with Shae and Aoife at that time of the evening, but instead he was standing there, his back ramrod straight, rolling a small box in his hands.

"Mr Griffin!" Came a stern barking voice from behind. "Just what do you think you're doing in my spot?"

Cailus downright jumped at the sharp interruption to his silent musing, swore under his breath, then turned around with a disgruntled frown.

Nyx stood before him smiling; his tongue couldn't possibly be further in his cheek and his eyes enlightened with a devlish amusement. There was just something about the Security Chief's constant stiffness that made Temple want to mess with him. The more Cailus resisted, the more Nyx tried to gain a smile out of him. It was more fun than a holonovel.

"Hilarious, captain," Cailus said drily, crossing his arms. "I would apologise for taking your spot, but I'm sure there's a reg somewhere about deceiving the CO."

With a laugh, Nyx flopped down on the couch facing the window, "I'm sure there is and I'm sure you'd follow it, Cailus. I figured this place wouldn't stay hidden for long, it's been my secret quiet corner since we left Earth."

"Family driving you nuts, I take it?" Cailus asked, smiling faintly.

"Which one? My actual family or my adopted one?" Nyx laughed, "You know, they don't tell you in Command training how quickly your crew becomes like family, and how often you spend worrying about them all."

Cailus' smile grew rueful as he looked out the viewport. "There isn't a single captain I've ever met before you who would've admitted that, sir. The old logic was that a captain couldn't afford the luxury of being anything less than perfect, since if you showed yourself to be a mortal man with normal worries and fears, the crew would lose faith...and you would lose command." He snorted, shaking his head. "In retrospect, that argument is idiotic. I frankly prefer a captain with four hundred children to a captain with four hundred colleagues, as odd as that may sound coming from me."

"Oh," Nyx remarked, as he considered that thought, "Well forget what I said then, I'm really a heartless old bastard who strikes fear in the heart of every yeoman." He chuckled a little, shrugging, "I suppose we come from similar fields, you and I. It was always about the operation, the mission parameters. Colleagues signed up to do their part and should they fall, it was collateral damage. I will also admit that part of my... enthusiastic... personality since becoming Captain has been my way of shaking off that old point of view."

"The operation?" Cailus repeated slowly, thinking, before nodding grimly as the answer struck. He moved to lean against the viewport, his arms still crossed. "Starfleet Intelligence. I didn't know you served with them, sir."

"The walls between Starfleet departments have become less obvious in more recent times. Necessarily so." Nyx explained, "I started in Intel and have had on-going involvement with them throughout my career. But now I see the people, instead of just the officers, as I suspect you do too?"

Cailus glanced back outside at the stars, all the smiles long gone in his empty look. "I...used to, sir. Make the effort, I mean. I talked to my subordinates, learned about their families, their lives, became their friend." He paused, remembering. "After a certain point, however, it got harder. It's no accident that most of Sec/Tac hate my guts." Cailus glanced back at at Nyx with tired amusement. "Regardless, sir, I think it fits. The junior officers idolise you, and at least half the crew seems to be madly in love with the XO. Someone has to be the scary bastard that everybody hates."

Temple gave a nod, noticing the protectionism returning to the Security Chief's voice and face. "Understandable. So long as that persona doesn't consume you; doesn't overwhelm your enjoyment of the job. And hopefully doesn't effect your personal life."

Looking back at Nyx, Cailus considered the man and his words for a silent moment. "If you'll forgive a personal question, Captain...how are you doing?"

Nyx smiled for a moment before looking out to the stars, "It seems to be going well. It is going well, right?" He frowned, "I mean, it feels like I'm constantly juggling, there's so many balls in the air at one time that I can't afford to stop for long. That's part of the job, learning to juggle everything at once."

"I don't envy you," Cailus agreed grimly. He suddenly stopped fidgeting with the little green box, frowning as if surprised that it was still there, before pocketing it. "At least you have your family with you," he offered blandly as reassurance. "More juggling, of course, but still."

"Yeees." Nyx replied slowly. "For which I am eternally grateful, of course. To have them with me now is fantastic. But I feel like we shouldn't have been separated in the first place. And I still get this horrible feeling when I think about the shuttle incident. It just fills me with dread, thinking how close..." His words got caught in his throat and he paused. "It's just one of the things you put aside, for the sake of the ship."

Cailus didn't respond for a long moment, simply staying in place against the glass. "You're a stronger man than I am, Captain," he finally said quietly, still looking outside. The stars shifted suddenly as the ship came about. "When I first met Aoife, and Shae told me that Starfleet lets family members live on starships now...it seemed insane. It still does."

Nyx turned to him and shrugged, "We could be out here for three years. At least. That's a long time to spent alone, a lot of nights with no one by your side. And I don't just mean companionship, I'm talking about real relationships. Love. Family." A smile formed on his lips. "Why should serving in Starfleet deprive an officer of a real life? When studies show that being with your loved ones absolutely makes you a better, happier officer."

He looked around now, still smiling, "That's why I pushed command to change this ship so much. I aimed to make a prototype of deep space vessels where we didn't have to leave our society or our real selves at the door just in order to serve Starfleet."

Moving to sit down next to Nyx, Cailus was still as stiff as ever, leaning forward. "Given our respective loved ones...I can't really argue with you. Shae would be lost without Aoife in her life, and your family clearly missed you dearly. The way Katrine is with you reminds me a little of...well. She is obviously happy that her family is together."

The thought of Katrine brought a smile to his face, and his eyes glazed over with joy. "Warms this tough bugger's heart to come home to my girl every night. You seem to be close to Aoife now too. Given what all three of you have been through, I can tell that's quite a significant development."

Cailus was silent for a long moment. "Significant," he finally muttered, staring out into nothing, unnaturally still. "It's a mess. Aoife thinks I'm her father, and for all intents and purposes, that's how I've been acting lately. Shae and I don't really have any way of telling her otherwise...and we wouldn't do that to her, even if we could. It's not smart or wise for me to play father to her, but it's just too damned easy to become a family."

Nyx nodded along, but was caught with a pressing question, "Is that what you want? To become a family?"

Cailus glanced at the captain intently, his face unreadable. "No," he said simply. "A man like me...a man like me shouldn't go down that road. Not for a long time, Captain. Four months ago, I was pointing a phaser at Shae's head. There's 'too fast' and there's damned transwarp, and we're solidly in the latter." It was a startling admission for a typically private man, but Cailus' calm demeanour didn't even flicker, his tone oddly even. "'Course, that's not how it works, sir. The universe has a way of laughing at us, I think." Pausing, he turned the question around. "When you first met your wife, and realised what she meant to you, did you want a life with her? Or did you find one day that, without really noticing, you were already living that life together?"

"More interesting stories from the Tornado," He remarked dryly, but felt now was not the time to detour, so he continued, "The universe gave me a different life than you, I won't pretend I can understand everything you've been through. Yes, when I met Emilie I knew there was something special between us. But I was on the Wellington and she was on Lucis, and I had to sacrifice my Starfleet career to move there. It didn't just happen, I made a conscious choice to put happiness first."

He looked at the man, eyes more focused than before, "You deserve to have a full life, Griffin, including a family. On your terms, when you're ready, of course, but you can't spend the rest of your days in the darkness out of guilt, or fear."

"You're not in stasis any more."

After a few moments, Cailus stony face broke into a rare, faint smile, noting the use of his surname. The captain's words were less advice, or an order, and more a straight declaration. For all his gregariousness and occasional informality, the man was similar to the captains of old in one, crucial respect. He was the type of man to enforce his will upon the universe and Heaven help anything that stood in his way, even when it came to the self-indulgent moping of one of his subordinates.

"Fair enough, Captain," Cailus finally answered, working to conceal his amusement. He considered for a moment more, looking out at the stars, before looking back, deep in thought. "I can't really argue with you. It's easy to find excuses to just...leave." And Shae being driven out of her mind by her hormones to the point that she slept with Mindo was one hell of an excuse, but he wouldn't say that to the captain even if he had a phaser to his head, friendship or no. "Thank you for the kick in the rear end." His smile turning into a subtle smirk, Cailus added drily, "If you ever need me to return the favour, sir, feel free to ask. I don't know much about commanding a starship, and I won't presume to understand your own family, but regardless, I can serve as a friendly ear. An ear with security clearance."

"I will keep that in mind," Nyx smiled in return, "But hey don't forget I leaned on you guys when I was feeling down after being apart from my family. You were all so giving with your time then and provided a friendly ear already. I'm really just repaying you the favour, even if I do get a little preachy from time to time."

He gave Griffin a nudge on the shoulder, "And thank you for speaking to me, it means a lot to have your counsel."

"And I, yours," Cailus said in agreement, nodding sagely as the two men looked out at the stars. He then raised his eyebrow in a purely Vulcan manner, although there was a glint of mischief in his eye. "However, Captain, I regret to inform you that you should not expect our newfound friendship to result in my support for you going on away missions." He glanced at Nyx and shrugged, his poker face perfect. "Nothing personal, sir. Commander Glyndar simply scares me a heck of a lot more than you do."

Nyx let out a bellowing laugh at the thought. This small little Observation Lounge had gone from silent contemplation, to intense conversation, and finally to a raucous laughter, and the stars kept flying past the window all the same.