Mending a Friendship

Posted on Sun Jun 21st, 2020 @ 5:20am by Cailus Griffin & Lieutenant Commander Mindo & Lieutenant Kalin Brennan-Griffin PhD
Edited on on Tue Jul 7th, 2020 @ 1:26pm

Mission: Into the Wild
Location: Mess Hall
Timeline: before entering the Inconnu Expanse

A Mission Post by Lieutenant Kalin 'Shae' Brennan PhD & Lieutenant Mindo & Lieutenant JG Cailus Griffin
Mission: Into The Wild
Location: Mess Hall
Timeline: before entering the Inconnu Expanse
Thu Jul 20th, 2017 @ 10:27pm


It had been a few days since the day Shae had lost all control with Mindo; tensions were still present between Cailus and Shae, but it seemed like the anger and guilt might actually be simmering down. Before 'The Incident', Shae had asked Cailus to move in, and while things hadn't cooled off enough for him to be considered moved in, he had been bringing things by as a sign that he still wanted to move in, and she gladly helped him as a sign that she still wanted him in her quarters and her life. But it was still tense, almost like they didn't know how to act around one another, and the only reprieve seemed to be in the routine of their daily lunches, which they had shared before their relationship began. Being grounded in such a strong friendship seemed to help ease this discourse between them now. Of course, it could just be that her quarters were a stark reminder of what happened, whereas the mess hall held no such reminders, allowing them to be more at ease with each other. Whatever the reason, conversation seemed to be flowing easily between the two for the first time in what felt like forever.

Shae smiled warmly as she and Cailus chatted over the remains of their lunch. Aoife, in her lap, was relaxed and at ease seeing her mother and the man that made them both smile talking again so easily. In fact, he said something, and Aoife couldn't understand the words yet, but Shae laughed, a soft but genuine laugh that had been absent for days now, and Aoife could not contain her excitement, practically wiggling out of her mother's lap with the ecstatic wagging of her tail. Shae giggled as she tightened her grip on Aoife to keep her spilling to the floor completely, But Aoife couldn't help it, she was just so happy that mommy was smiling again! Of course the man who made them smile was not smiling himself, he was still so stern and terse, but he could not hide his true feelings from Shae or Aoife, and Aoife could see the happiness in his eyes now, even amusement, so how could she not be happy!

Finally, they finished eating and returned their plates to the replicator. Shae set Aoife on her hip as they began their walk towards the door so they could both return to duty (or to daycare, in Aoife's case). As they approached the doors, they swished open as expected, but what they did not expect to see was Mindo standing on the other side. Shae stopped cold for a moment, staring at Mindo with guilt and pain in her eyes.

Mindo, at eye level hovering with his leg apparatus on, smiled at first upon seeing Shae and Cailus, but realized in Shae's expression that there was still a definite elephant in the room between them all.

"Cailus, can you return Aoife to Rebekah for me?" Shae said softly when she finally broke the silence that seemed to span a small but painful eternity between them. "I would like a moment to talk to Mindo, alone please." She knew she was still mending bridges between herself and Cailus, but that was not the only bridge that needed mending.

When she said that Cailus couldn't help but show a flicker of surprise, but he covered it quickly by taking Aoife.

"Okay you little adventurer," he said to Aoife gruffly as he adjusted her weight in his grip, "let's go see what Rebekah has in store for this afternoon." He awkwardly nodded at Mindo as he moved past the engineer, before glancing back at Shae over Mindo's shoulder. Unseen by anyone but Shae he slowly nodded his head again, offering her his odd half-smile, before departing down the corridor.

Mindo watched as Cailus exited with Aofie. Mindo wondered if the tension, if any, had reached the young girl at all, hoping this wasn't the case. After Cailus departed with Aofie, Mindo looked back at Shae.

Mindo gestured inward toward the mess hall. "Do you want to sit down?" he asked.

Shae simply nodded, walking with Mindo as he found a table for them to sit at. "I, uh, wanted to thank you," Shae said softly with a slight hesitation once they were seated. "A-and apologize. What happened the other day- well, I..." she stammered, clearly having trouble giving voice to what she felt. "You took care of me when I lost control, and you treated me with respect, for that I thank you. If it had happened with anyone else, I could be facing an assault charge, or worse yet, it could have happened with someone who would want to take advantage of me, and I will be forever grateful that it was with you, someone who could understand what I was going through," she continued, offering a sad smile. http://pandora.bravofleet.com/index.php/messages/index"But... I'm also sorry because now you're caught up in the middle of this tension between Cailus and I. And... I hope that I have not damaged our friendship."

Mindo nodded and looked down. "Cailus came to see me and gave me some lecture on being a true Starfleet officer and how I should have resisted more." He looked back up at Shae with a calm warmth in his eyes. "Fesarians are not the most modest people when it comes to sexual intimacy. I have to drink constantly to keep those instincts in check. Had a lot of trouble at the Academy for a while, if you can imagine that. What happened with us was not exactly a mistake, but rather a force of nature. Your instincts kicked in and so did mine and we did what we had to do. It was nothing against Cailus, at least on my end, and I hope you know it was not my intention for our get-together."

"I know about your past and your kind," Shae said, looking away somewhat guiltily. "After I... interrogated you... I kind of did some research... Please know, it's not because I didn't trust you, but... well, I've been through my own hell and I'm rather paranoid, I just wanted to make sure that whatever you were caught up in wouldn't be a danger to... to me. And there was a general curiosity about Fesarians; I'm a scientist, it's a drive to want to know more about a species I've never encountered before. I know I should have just learned these things through our friendship, but... well, there it is." She looked back at him to see how he was taking this. She really hadn't meant to be all sneaky-sneaky about it, but some of it was habit from her former line of work.

"Fesarians are not exactly the most common people in this Federation. We're a little... out of the way." Mindo smiled slightly, clearly not offended. "You were curious. If Cailus were here he'd probably say you were acting like a 'true Starfleet officer.'"

"My research was certainly not any sort of Starfleet standard. And I'm sorry he confronted you; if I had known he was going to do something like that I would have tried to stop him," Shae replied. "Humans are very protective of their partners; I know monogamy is a concept that is generally difficult for Fesarians to grasp, but what you and I did was a violation of the intentions Cailus and I have for each other, and at the time Cailus couldn't understand the instincts that drive either of us, that's why it hurt him so much and why I can't fault him for behaving as he did. He's starting to grasp how this affects me, but that's still a long way from truly understanding. Add to that, I was raised among humans, human relationships have been my only guide as I struggled to come to terms with my instincts, so I still feel a sense of guilt for betraying Cailus. It's a lot for both of us to come to terms with."

Mindo sighed. "The term I've heard for this sort of thing is 'adultery.' I understand the concept well enough, but I've been in situations where such a thing appears to be acceptable and later isn't. I wasn't thinking of Cailus when you and I were in the heat of things. And I wasn't doing it out of love. It seemed to me that you were in a mindset that you couldn't control, and to be honest I lost control as well. Fesarians do not consider sex an intimate act of love. It's more like a recreational activity. I've had a hard time explaining such a thing to humans, and many other races as well." He paused for a minute, remembering something Shae had said earlier. "You said your research wasn't Starfleet standard. May I ask what exactly it was?" Mindo asked.

"I can see how frustrating it must be to get others to understand your ways. If it's any comfort, not all humans are so rigid in their sexual identities, there are some who are capable of understanding; point of fact, I was brought up among humans and I'm open minded enough to understand," she offered with a small smile. When he asked about her research, Shae diverted her gaze once again. "Well, while looking into Fesarians was purely academic curiosity, it's certainly not standard protocol. A-and... I didn't exactly use proper channels to look into your personal history... I had already violated your rights by interrogating you without due process, and like I said I was paranoid, but when I came to realize that you really were a good person, I stopped digging; everyone deserves to keep a few secrets, so I chose to trust that you weren't a threat, but I still know enough that... well, I wouldn't blame you if considered me a threat now... I know it's not exactly the Starfleet way, but I haven't always been Starfleet, and as you know, I'm trying to put that part of my life behind me. I hope you can forgive me for prying, and just know that I will take what I learned to my grave; I've kept secrets far worse than yours." Since they were in such a public place, she chose not to go into any details about what she had learned about him, not wanting to air his secrets out in front of so many people.

"Well there's a reason they're called 'secrets,'" said Mindo. "I wasn't aware my life's book was that open." Mindo looked away. He was trying to be diplomatic, but hearing of Shae's investigations into him just reminded him more of his apparent lack of privacy when it came to things he didn't like talking about.

He looked at her again with quizzical eyes. "How much about me did Cailus tell you?"

"Not a lot, actually; the results of his investigation were mostly circumstantial, but he did mention Chase, and I'd heard some things about him, things that gave me cause to fear whatever connection you might have with him. Cailus didn't say anything about what was said in your meeting with Takato, but with what I already knew of Chase, I could guess, and when I realized you were being watched... I'd like to say I went snooping to protect you as much as myself, but at the time I was only thinking of myself and my daughter; I had only just got her back, I was trying to start anew, I couldn't risk getting pulled back into the life I was forced into before... But then I realized that by digging I was no better than the people we were both running from, and I learned enough to know that you weren't dangerous, so I decided to take my chances, and that if you ever asked for help, I would be there for you in a heartbeat no questions asked." Shae was wringing her hands in her lap, clearly uncomfortable with this confession; she hadn't meant for all this to come out now, but one slip of the tongue and there it was, as if she wasn't already guilty enough for betraying Cailus, or maybe that was what cause her to slip up... "That day in the holodeck, I wanted to tell you, but I was so desperate for a friend and you had been so kind to me... I'm sorry."

Mindo looked down at the table and frowned. Whatever information she had found, he understood how his link to Vice Admiral Chase at Starfleet Internal Security would be cause for worry for Shae. He knew Shae had her own reasons for being paranoid.

He stood on his chair and leaned down on the table, bringing himself closer to Shae. He spoke quietly. "I don't know what Chase's agenda is. I don't even know why I was reassigned to the Pandora. I do know my assignment here had to have been approved by Chase. So either he wants me here to do something for him, or he wants me far out of the way. Whatever reason, I'll be damned if I let him do anything to hurt you or your daughter. As for Cailus, I'm truly sorry to him for what happened. But I trust him about as far as my head is from the ground, and people tell me I'm pretty short. The fact that he's also Starfleet security raises red flags on me. I'm surprised his position hasn't raised any for you. Are you sure you really want him this close?"

"If he wants you out of the way, this is about as out of the way as you can get, but that's part of the reason I like to so much," Shae affirmed, a shudder in her voice from the relief she felt that Mindo was not going to hold her actions against her. She leaned in closer, close enough to press her cheek against his so she could whisper into his ear. "I never learned the extend of Chase's agenda, only that he was not playing ball with the people I was involved with, and there was talk of taking him out, but that was years ago, and my recent searching didn't seem to indicate any connection, so I don't think he knows about me. I hope your move here is merely coincidental, but without more searching, there's just no way to know. As for Cailus, he's no cause for concern... for either of us. He knows why I've done the things that I've done; he trusts me with his life as I trust him. I can't be certain about how he feels about you, but I know he knows you aren't the enemy."

Pulling away from him, Shae gave Mindo a timid smile. "Thank you for not being angry with me over this, and I'm grateful that you want to protect me and Aoife as well. If you want to know what I've learned, just say the word and I'll send it to your terminal later, and of course if I learn anything else then you'll be the first to know... I've been doing sporadic checks of the Pandora's system and so far I haven't found any indication that anyone is mucking about to monitor either of us. For the moment, it seems that we are safe, aside from the dangers in the Expanse that is."

Mindo gave a curt nod and a small smile. "Whatever they may be, we'll face them together," he said. "As friends."

Shae took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, as much for her own comfort as his. "Thank you," she said softly. She had been so worried that recent events had spoiled their friendship, and then her confession about her 'research' made that fear exponentially worse, but she could see now that she really had no reason to fear; her instincts that Mindo was a good person held true, and she was glad now that she had trust in this. "Oh... umm.. I was wondering if.... mmm.... the thing is, I- before Cailus, I've never... never been, uh, in a romantic, uh, relationship, so.... so I was wondering.... am I- am I pleasing? Y-you know... to be with?" Compared to Cailus and Mindo, she was terribly inexperienced with romance and intimacy, and she was so shy about asking Cailus directly if he found her to be satisfying, but Mindo was much more open minded about these kinds of things, though just the simple act of asking was enough to cause Shae to blush crimson.

"Do you mean, be around? Or are you talking more... intimate?" asked Mindo.

"Uh, well... the latter," Shae admitted with great hesitance.

Mindo smiled, a little timid himself. He struggled to find the right words. "It's been my experience that these things just come naturally to people. I've never had any... complaints about my... partners. It's all about the moment, and also the way you feel about the person you're with. These things are more important than the physical part of it. So the question isn't about being 'good' in the sack. It's more, how much do you enjoy this person." He paused, looking for the right words. "That said... I greatly enjoy you. And while there are consequences for what we... shared... I must say the experience was great. You are extremely pleasing to be with."

Shae's cheeks were so red, but that didn't stop a small smile from forming on her face. "Good, that's... good," she said. She was so uneasy about talking about this so openly, but she had asked... "Anyway, thank you for, uh, taking a moment to talk about all this... I, uh... I'm glad that we can still be friends. I know it might take some time for the awkwardness to go away, but it's a comfort to know that I, or Cailus for that matter, haven't driven you away; so sorry he confronted you, by the way... But, uh, I guess I should get going now, I need to get back to my shift and you, uh, are probably hungry," she rambled awkwardly. Shae stood with a weak smile, but before she left, she leaned down to give Mindo a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said softly, her smile growing warmer and more genuine.

"I'll see you around," said Mindo, his face matching her genuine smile. He activated his LEGS to hover at eye-length with Shae as she stood. He reached out and, with a warm smile, touched her shoulder and gave a small squeeze.

Shae left the mess hall with a bright smile and feeling much lighter than she had before now that she had unburdened a few secrets; she didn't know if Cailus would be able to understand her need to mend this friendship, but she was glad that she succeeded.