Confide In Me

Posted on Tue Jun 23rd, 2020 @ 1:14am by Mauricio Arnaldo & Emilie Temple
Edited on on Fri Jul 10th, 2020 @ 5:22pm

Mission: Death in Paradise
Location: Deck 2 - Senior Crew Quarters

A Mission Post by 1st Lieutenant Mauricio Arnaldo & Emilie Temple
Mission: Death in Paradise
Location: Deck 2 - Senior Crew Quarters
Timeline:
Tue Nov 27th, 2018 @ 6:06am

Emilie had just gotten Katrine down for an afternoon nap - something that was becoming increasingly difficult as her little girl got older. Long were the days where Emilie could enjoy periods of respite between the rampant energy of her child with scheduled nap breaks. Now her girl seemed to need them less and less, and needed "mummy time" more and more. At six months pregnant, Emilie was the one who needed the naps now, so she was grateful that today Katrine wanted to have a sleep - so she could too.

Just as she was dozing off on the couch, however, the door chime rang and disturbed her would-be slumber. She groaned for a moment and considered not answering, but then feared repeated rings would wake up Katrine, so Emilie hoisted herself off the lounge and headed over to the door. It slide open to reveal First Lieutenant Arnaldo, looking rather anxious, but with a polite smile on his face nonetheless.

"Oh! Mrs. Temple, I'm sorry to disturb you." He said, wringing his hands.

"Not at all." Emilie lied, trying to stifle a yawn. She had remembered Nyx talking about the young Marine and what he had experienced in the Bubble universe, but Nyx had been hopeful he was on the path to recovery now. Still, she couldn't help but feel the need to be overly genial to him. "How can I help?"

"Uh, sí, I was looking for the Captain?" Mauricio replied, peering into the quarters expectantly.

"He's away on the station, I'm afraid." Emilie said softly. "Organising some aid relief, I believe. He should be back later tonight though."

"Oh? Right. I see." The Marine nodded, a frown forming on his face. "I didn't know, I'm not... not up to date with ship events."

Emilie looked to the Marine with a concerned gaze, "He will be back. Was it urgent?"

"No... Well, kinda." He shrugged, looking down at his feet, which he shuffled back and forth.

"Commander Nash is still onboard, of course." Emilie said helpfully. "If it were duty-related?"

"I guess. Lo siento, Mrs Temple, I should have checked first." Mauricio sighed. He knew he had disturbed her from something and was internally admonishing himself for not confirming the Captain's whereabouts before coming to their quarters. He was sure that Emilie would see him as a nuisance and annoyance, and would undoubtedly tell her husband of this awkward intrusion.

Instead, Emilie turned her head to the side and smiled, "You look like you need to chat?"

Mauricio gave a short laugh. "I feel like all I've been doing is chatting. About the Bubble, about me."

"Sounds tiring." Emilie nodded. She took a breath before standing back a moment. "Come inside."

After a moment the Marine was sitting, perched gingerly, on the Temple's couch, while Emilie waited for the replicator to finish brewing up some tea. She shuffled over to the living area and handed one to Mauricio before sitting down.

Mauricio took the cup but hesitated, "Gracias, but I don't really drink..."

"Drink." She instructed firmly, taking a sip of her own. The Marine did as he was told and drank the tea. Emilie waited for a moment, allowing the smooth hot drink to warm her and for the silence to fill the room for several minutes. Quietly, she began, "Whenever Nyx came back from a mission, he was much like you are now. Energetic, anxious. His adrenaline was still going. He still felt like he was expecting something to happen."

Mauricio nodded and took another sip. He recognised what she saying and saw Nyx's story reflected in his own behaviour since coming back from the Bubble. He knew that although he had started to feel better, it was only through hiding himself in the Brig and trying to tightly control every aspect of his daily life. When he saw Doctor Eiri and Jameson, it wasn't the questioning that disturbed him, but the sudden breaking glass that had triggered his heightened anxiety. He also realised from that meeting that he couldn't spend the rest of his life hiding in the Brig.

"It used to take him days to calm down." Emilie continued, remembering with a wry smile. "He would paint the apartment, rearrange the furniture, run a marathon, put the furniture back the way it was before. It was this constant feeling of being on alert, or needed to do something."

"I get that." Mauricio smiled. The Marine was appreciating her insights from an observer's perspective. She had seen what warfare and mission-related trauma could do to a person; how there were times when the battle scars were not always visible.

"I worried sometimes that he would never totally calm down." Emilie added, "Right now, your body is telling you one thing while your mind is saying another. Your mind knows this isn't the normal way to live your day, but it's not as easy as just telling yourself to be still."

Mauricio drank the tea again and sighed, "I have been trying. I'm sleeping in the Brig, I'm practicing my guitar."

Emilie grinned, "I saw you at the talent show, you are very good. Your song choice was beautiful."

"Gracias." Mauricio replied, his cheeks turning a little red to receive such praise. "It was hard for me to leave my solitude and be around all those people. The only way I knew how was through song."

"A coping mechanism is natural." Emilie nodded, "So long as they don't become crutches. I'm no counsellor, but I am the partner of a person who went through similar traumas and experiences. Nyx wouldn't like me to tell you this, but after coming back from the Bubble he also experienced irregular sleep patterns and anxiety like he had from the old days."

Mauricio quietly took this information onboard and nodded, though he was surprised. "He didn't seem like he was having trouble."

"Of course not. He would never show that to the crew." Emilie shrugged, "But he did. This is not an easy career you have chosen for yourselves. It took me a long time to appreciate the weight of the decisions you have to make. In fact, it took a brutally honest chat with Lieutenant Brennan for me to realise the responsibilities of Starfleet that hang on your shoulders. That's going to effect you, even the Captain."

"Wow." He replied.

"It's part of the job." She said.

"So what do we do?" Mauricio asked earnestly, looking to Emilie with raised eyebrows. "I've begun to doubt whether I can return to duty. In fact, I was coming here today to tell Captain Temple that I will be disembarking at Carnwennan Station."

"Because you've been living in the anxious state." Emilie replied firmly. "Yes, sleeping in the Brig helped you, but that was a temporary solution that was never meant to be permanent. Now your mind says you cannot cope outside of the Brig. The only way to get back to normal is to break the cycle of dependancy on your coping mechanism and find smaller, more liveable ways to manage your stress. For Nyx, he began to practice meditation, quiet psychical activities like yoga, or studying. These helped to focus his mind and stopped him from acting irrationally."

Mauricio took a sip from the tea, and then he laughed. "And drinking tea?" He asked, realising he had been participating in a quiet activity all along.

"And drinking tea." Emilie nodded, smiling too. "I would force him to sit down, slowly drink his tea, and have a peaceful conversation. Sometimes a little bit of serenity is all you need." She took a final drink of her cup and placed it down on the coffee table. "There are also medicinal methods to help as well."

The Marine firmly shook his head, "I don't want to become some hypo-addict."

"The doctors would never allow that." Emilie replied, "The dosage would be small and monitored. There's no shame in needing medication to help with your anxiety. If you broke your arm during a battle, where would you go?"

"Sickbay." Mauricio nodded.

"Right. You wouldn't just leave it and see if your arm healed on it's own." Emilie said. "This is no different. It requires medical help, too."

The two sat in silence for a while, Emilie enjoying the quiet just as much as Mauricio. Finally the Marine finished his tea as well and set the cup down. "This is the longest I've spent out of the Brig."

"There's no rush to go back." Emilie said with a shrug. "Katrine will probably be up again soon. To tell you the truth, I think the best way Nyx deals with his tensions is by being a parent to her. Nothing brings him back to reality quite like having a child to look after. It puts everything in perspective."

Mauricio grinned, "He's about to get a lot more perspective then." He said, nodding toward's Emilie's protruding stomach.

"Exactly." Emilie laughed, "Two kids under five, I'm not sure either of us are ready for that."

"At least you'll have your big Pandora family to help." Mauricio added.

Emilie smiled, though she knew the Temples were considering a move back to Earth, she didn't want to disrupt this peaceful moment with the thought. Besides, neither of them had made a decision yet and Emilie was starting to wonder whether she wanted to leave the Pandora at all. "Yes. Now I'm not saying you should have a kid just to help your situation, that would be a terrible idea. But having people around you will be a big improvement. Close friends or a partner?"

"Not sure who will want me now. The basket-case marine?" Mauricio joked dryly. "I was close to Lieutenant Fick during the Bubble, but I feel that would be inappropriate with his boyfriend. As for finding love myself, I guess I still can't see that happening."

"At least allow people into your life again," Emilie replied. "It helps."

Mauricio gave a firm nod, "You know, I think I will. I might even venture across to Paradise when the Captain allows us liberty, to see how I go?"

Emilie shrugged, "Only if you feel up to it. Try walking around the recreation deck for a while; a little at first then more each time. Build up your resolve, train that body and mind of yours to feel normal again."

The Marine agreed, "Sounds like a plan. Thank you for your time, Mrs. Temple, this wasn't the conversation I was expecting to have here, but I'm glad we did."

"Of course." Emilie smiled, "Anytime."

OFF