The Real Housewives of the Pandora Reunion Show

Posted on Mon Jan 11th, 2021 @ 1:23am by Ignatius & Raven Mattel & Commander Mindo & Terrekal

Mission: The Gauntlet
Location: Deck 5 - Holodeck 3

ON

Terrekal looked over Mindo's work in the holodeck. The appearance of the set had to be perfect. Terrekal had called Mindo up from his hide-away in Engineering for something he called "A special drink in the holodeck." Mindo had, of course, waited for his lunch break and was now almost a half hour overdue to get back to the core, where God-knew-what kinds of crazy things were going on with Greep in charge. Terrekal's favor did involve drinks, but Mindo was quite disappointed when Terrekal revealed an ulterior motive.

The stage looked perfect. The room was about the size of a small but elegant ballroom. Two red chairs were stationed on either side of a small barstool, the same kind Mindo had designed for Little Caesar's, which was currently closed. Mindo at first had been quite angry over the ruse, but when Terrekal explained his idea, the Chief Engineer quickly changed his mind.

There was a mini-bar right behind the chairs, with various drink options, including vodka, wine, gin, scotch, and, of course, tranya. Next to both chairs sat small coffee tables, where drinks could be placed.

"Looks about done to me," Mindo said, standing by the computer arch materialized next to the entrance. "Computer, begin Mindo program four-two-bravo, camera crew."

A few old cameras on tripods materialized, with a full crew to go with them. It had been Terrekal's master plan. His two best friends on the Pandora, Ignatius and Raven, had had a huge falling out of sorts. The feud started subtle, but lately Raven had been acting very strange. She was moody, distant... she didn't seem to relish her eloquent skating and dancing and performing in Little Caesar's anymore. Terrekal knew something was up, and he finally decided to fix it in a way Raven would be most comfortable... in a Real Housewives of the Pandora reunion show, set up on the holodeck!

The idea had come to him late one lonely night. He remembered Raven had been on the Real Housewives of Risa for a couple of seasons. He'd watched a few episodes with her and had the feel of the show down. Now he needed to bring the drama back here, on the holodeck, one night only. He wasn't going to actually record or broadcast any of it. It would be private, of course, but also comfortable and, for Terrekal anyway, fun!!!

"Perfect!" said Terrekal, stepping back and looking at the elegant setup.

"I have to get back to the Core," said Mindo. "I'll be watching in my office."

Terrekal smiled back at his fellow Fesarian. "Thanks, Mindo."

"Any time," Mindo replied.

Mindo exited the holodeck about five minutes before he had asked Raven and Ignatius to join him. Terrekal stood in front of his comfy chair in the center and waited for his two estranged friends to arrive.

Raven's heels clacked against the smooth steel corridor as she approached the Holodeck. Wearing a dark navy ballgown with matching long gloves, she felt like she was on her way to a glamorous event. Terrekal had sent a rather out of the blue idea to curate the first ever Pandora Ball as part of their new Event Planning committee, and asked her to come in full attire to help "set the look". Never one to miss an opportunity to put on a ballgown, Raven had jumped at the chance; she loved being the muse and inspiration for this event. Her hair was a long, black braid that was intertwined with a silver string of imitation diamonds, which lead up to a light three-crown tiara on her head.

She made for an elegant and expensive entrance as the Holodeck doors parted and she strolled inside, one hand raised in the hair like a queen signalling her subjects. She turned her head to the ceiling and smiled, striking a pose as she did.

"I have arrived!" She declared, stating the obvious.

"Darling!" Terrekal said as he hurried over to greet Raven. "You look fabulous! That gown is perfect for the show!" Terrekal quickly checked his chronometer. He had hoped they would arrive not too far apart from each other, and Raven was already a few minutes late.

Raven was flummoxed by the scene before her, completely not what she was expecting. "Okay," She whispered to herself. "Be cool. Don't be all like... uncool."

Terrekal was just about to ask her if she wanted a drink when one of the crewmen approached and said, "Oh my goodness, you look wonderful, but we're running a lee-tal behind and we just need to do some touch-ups for the cameras."

Terrekal stifled a laugh at just how detailed Mindo had managed to make the film crew. This one was kind of cute...

As the crewman guided Raven to her chair for additional makeup, Terrekal walked over to the minibar. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked Raven as he poured himself a small glass of tranya.

Raven felt herself being moved along as she blinked into the bright studio lights. "Show?" She asked softly. Looking around, Raven didn't see the formal ballroom program she had expected, but instead some kind of talk show set complete with two chairs and a bar. Terrekal did not seem confused by this at all, which only added to Raven's discomfort. She felt incredibly overdressed for whatever this event was, and began to worry that she had misread his invitation. "Terrekal, what is going on?" She leaned over and whispered to him.

"You'll see in a moment," Terrekal whispered back. "Love the dress!"

At that moment, the doors opened once more. Ignatius entered, carrying a few suit bags over one arm while wearing a black tuxedo himself. Terrekal had hired him to create some outfits for a formal event he was apparently planning, and made the unusual request that Iggy arrived wearing one of the options himself. Normally the clothier would want the recipient to try on the clothes, but Terrekal was promising a hefty service fee for the added condition. So he had come in a sleek, tailored evening suit, with large, velvet lapels and a neat matching bowtie. He could only hope that he didn't do such a great job of modelling the tux that the client felt unworthy to wear it afterwards. It was a possibility.

"I have arrived." He declared flatly, wondering where he could dump the suit bags.

Terrekal activated the hover attachments on his legs and brought himself up to Ignatius' height, floating toward the finely-dressed man. "Good! You're here!" he said, gesturing to the chair opposite from Raven.

The makeup guy from before hustled over to Ignatius. "You look wonderful," he said. He then turned around to the lighting crew, setting up the bright lights. "A little more over here, people! You do want us to see everyone, right?" He looked back at Ignatius. "You'd think people would know how to do their jobs!"

Ignatius was stammering, "What... lights? ...jobs? Who are these people?" He looked over and saw an equally perplexed, but fabulously dressed, Raven sitting in a chair. Raven had been blinded by the bright studio lightings for a few seconds but her eyes adjusted just in time to see Ignatius being pulled over to the empty chair across from her.

"What are you doing here?!" They both asked at the same time.

"I was invited by him!" They both answered at the same time, pointing to Terrekal.

If there was a moment of recognition between the two that they had actually been set-up, it was fleeting. There was no Pandora ball and there was no suit client. Terrekal had clearly lied to bring them both together and in truth, neither really minded. Ignatius found himself placed into the chair, a makeup brush being quickly swept over his face. He was too stunned to react properly, though he felt some kind of socially mandated expectation to go along with it. So he did.

Raven, too, felt a sudden obligation to play along, even making sure her hair was neat and tidy in one of the floor monitors. She had no idea who would be watching this program Terrekal had magically produced, but Raven was nothing but a show girl at heart. Point a camera at her face and she could turn it on without hesitation. She quickly ran her tongue over her teeth to ensure they were not stained with lipstick, straightened up her posture, and placed a wide smile on her face.

"I'm ready." She declared, her tone soft and purposeful.

Terrekal took his seat, with Ignatius and Raven now sitting on either side of him. Beyond the lights, the camera crew was ready. The director sat in a folding chair and shouted, "We're on in FIVE... FOUR... THREE..."

Terrekal sat up straight as the camera zoomed in on him. "Hello, and welcome to the Real Housewives of the Pandora Reunion Show, I'm Terry Kahl and we've had a very interesting season to say the least. I think we can all agree the tension and drama were nearly too hard to take! Today we'll look back at everything from the very beginning of a close friendship to how it seems to have changed."

Terrekal continued looking into the camera, trying to talk fast enough before either of his "guests" could interject. "My guests here today are none other than the handsome, sophisticated tailor Ignatius, who runs the Flying Pants tailor shop here on the Pandora, and the lovely Raven, celebrated performer, amazing barista, and former star of The Real Housewives of Risa! Hello to both of you!"

"Hi Terry," Raven demurred, fluttering her eyes at him. "So good to see you. I am feeling fabulous. 'Gone With the Wind' fabulous."

"I'm well," Ignatius answered stiffly, as he looked suspiciously at the camera and back to Terrekal. Even if he was going to go along with this, he didn't necessarily have to enjoy it. He couldn't shake the suspicion that Raven had put Terrekal up to this, given how well the Fesarian seemed to know the holo-program. Raven had tried to get him into watching the Housewives franchises before, but he couldn't stand the bad fashion and over-the-top melodrama. He decided he was going to play along, but he wasn't going to be made a fool of either.

"Splendid! You both have dressed for the occasion I see, and both of you look simply fabulous!" Terrekal said. He now looked down on the prepared cue card with the first question he needed to ask. "So, let's cut to the chase. One minute we're a happy family on Hesiod Blue, the next minute you're not speaking to each other. So tell me, where did all this start?" He looked back and forth between the two as he waited for the drama to unfold.

"I thought we had fun on Hesiod Blue." Ignatius answered with a sigh, looking more to the camera than to Terrekal or Raven.

"I did." Raven admitted, her tone quiet, "But as I've said before, it was stressful too."

Ignatius just shook his head, "We were all there together, girl, we went through it just like you did. I just don't think it's good to dwell on the negative, either."

"How do you know what's good for me?" Raven asked coldly.

"That's my opinion." Ignatius merely shrugged. "Fact is, I worked very hard on that campsite. I decorated. I cooked all day. I made it nice!"

Raven started to speak then just looked away, giving a shrug as well. She wasn't quite ready to speak her mind just yet, but she could feel it coming.

"Ignatius," Terrekal addressed the dapper tailor with a sobering tone. "I've only been here for a month. During that time I've been glad to make your acquaintance and I consider you a friend. I honestly have no idea what's going on between you and Raven. I know how much the two of you cherish each other. I'm interested in hearing what you might have to say. When did this start for you?"

Shifting uncomfortably in his chair, Ignatius stared ahead at the camera. "Well... I felt things were off before we got to Hesiod Blue. I had been asked by Captain Temple to look after the Valkyrie pilots on the planet as a civilian service team. Naturally I asked my best friend Raven to come along -" Raven sighed loudly, looking away, "And her immediate reaction is to invite you, Terrekal. That was odd to me."

Terrekal was slightly confused. "Raven and I are friends too," he said. "And I've told her about my troubles getting to know people here. I don't see how I factor into this..."

Ignatius shrugged awkwardly, not wanting to get into it with Terrekal, so Raven spoke up instead. "Iggy has problems making friends. He's not very trusting."

"No I'm not!" Ignatius protested immediately. "Terrekal, you came from Paradise, a place we hardly knew, which was apparently being controlled by the Breen. You'd only just come onboard. I feel like it was normal to want to get to know you first before we go on a mission like that together."

"He has trust issues." Raven merely stated again. "I was like, 'what are we doing here without Terrekal?' It was obvious we needed more help for the assignment."

"Would you really have done that?" Terrekal asked. "Gotten to know me first? Because I'd already been on board a couple weeks and you'd hardly said anything to me."

"The morally corrupt Terrekal?" He said as a joke. "Look, I'm protective of the people on this ship." Ignatius answered in a way. "We'd just lost two crew members, at the hands of another crew member. My guard was up. Would I have gotten to know you? Yes, probably. You had the Captain's blessing, and Lieutenant Mindo's blessing. It just would have taken me more time."

"I get it, I do. But I guess I don't require as much time." Raven said.

"It's emotional for me, it really is." Ignatius admitted, choking back a little. "I've trusted people before and I've gotten burned from that. And the thing you have to understand about my family here. We're thick as thieves, and we protect each other 'til the end. I was being protective."

Raven reached over and took a sip of water from a carefully placed glass, her face stoic.

"I understand having trust issues," said Terrekal. "In the Expanse you learn fast not to trust everyone you meet. I was lucky I had Mindo to introduce me to people here on Pandora. Fesarians have a way of trusting other Fesarians. Thanks to him, I've had the honor of having Raven as a friend. She's also a good judge of character, and so are you. You two wouldn't be so close otherwise. I think that's why this situation, whatever it is, is so painful."

Terrekal turned back to Raven. "Raven, I'd like to hear from you now. When and how did all this start?"

Raven took another sip from her water and started to talk, "Well, I did struggle in Hesiod Blue -"

"Oh let's not talk about Hesiod Blue." Ignatius sighed loudly.

It was if the air left the room in that moment.

"Excuse me?" Raven looked hard at him, "Did you just say 'let's not talk about Hesiod Blue'?"

"Let's not talk about it again." Ignatius replied with a shrug. "We've all talked about it already."

Raven stood from her chair, pointing her free hand accusingly at the clothier, "Don't you ever tell me what to talk about!"

The holographic TV crew, namely two burly men in black shirts stood forward, sensing the rising tension on set. Terrekal extended a low finger, the universal "wait a minute" gesture.

Ignatius leaned forward, "How about we talk about what's really wrong here?!"

Raven's hand jutted forward, as if to grab hold of Ignatius, but she pulled back and instead shouted, "You don't EVER say to me don't talk about Hesiod Blue!"

Unrelenting, Ignatius stood as well, "It has nothing to do with Hesiod Blue!"

In a fit of rage, Raven threw her glass down onto the floor and yelled, "DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO TALK ABOUT!"

Terrekal nodded and security grabbed hold of Raven and pulled her away, while Ignatius moved to dodge the shattering glass on the ground. The set was swarmed by producers and crew, trying to deescalate the situation as the two friends were quickly manoeuvred away from each other.

Terrekal now noticed Mindo had put two "makeup" rooms on opposite ends of the stage. As security crew separated Ignatius and Raven to their respective rooms, Terrekal heard a soft cough from one of the cameramen.

"It looks like we need a little break," Terrekal told the camera. "We'll have more Pandora reunion after these messages."

The red light on top of the camera went off and Terrekal hopped down from his chair and activated the handy hover devices on his legs. Since Raven had been clearly the more emotional one, Terrekal made his way to her dressing room first.

When he got there, the security teams and makeup staff had done their best to calm her. Terrekal thought about saying something like "Is everything OK?" but he realized how stupid that would sound. Clearly Raven was not OK. In the back of his mind, Terrekal wondered if she had been putting on a show. He knew she could be quite the performer, and the whole mess reminded Terrekal of one of the Risa reunion shows he had watched while researching this very forum. The crew had taken a break and Raven and her "adversary" came back from commercial break a little more... "civil."

But Terrekal knew this wasn't a show. Raven and Ignatius had had real problems as of late. Terrekal eased his way through the doorway, but went no further than just inside the door. Then he dropped to his real height and took in the situation. It was then that, from behind, Mindo emerged into the room as well.

"I put a live feed on in my office," the Chief Engineer said. "It had to broadcast somewhere. I came when I saw the glass break."

Terrekal nodded. "Being the host, and also someone actually part of the situation, I really didn't know what to do."

Mindo grinned and patted his friend on the shoulder. "I think I can take it from here. Go. You need a break too."

"Thanks," Terrekal said.

Mindo came further into the room and hovered a foot from the ground. "Raven?" he said. Mindo did not have the same sweet and somewhat feminine temperament as Terrekal, but he tried to sound as comforting as he could. "Are we OK in here?"

Raven was in a flood of tears, while also desperately trying to keep her mascara from running down her cheek. A personal assistant was diligently trying to fan her with a PADD, while gently dabbing at her face with a tissue. Raven was collapsed back into a make up chair, the train of her dress strewn dramatically around her. Producers quietly left when they saw Lieutenant Mindo appear, though there was a cameraman loitering just outside.

"I'll tell you how I'm doing. Not well, bitch." She cried out, hoping some humour would deflect the tension. She was happy to see her friend and boss, and her armour fell. "Oh Mindo! I don't know what came over me."

Mindo grinned as he came closer and took both her hands in his. "Well, you still know how to bring the drama!" he said with a grin. He reached up and scrubbed away a tear smudge on Raven's cheek.

Raven smiled a little but it was forced, and as she looked down at her hands, the smile faded quickly. "You're going to fire me, aren't you?" She frowned, "I'm so sorry, Boss, I don't know why I got so angry... well, I do know, but I shouldn't have. I'm not that angry queen getting kicked out of clubs and shows anymore. I've been trying to be better!"

Mindo smiled. "Oh Raven," he said. "I can't fire you. Even if I wanted to, you wouldn't let me!"

She managed to laugh at this, "Darn right." She murmured.

"Raven," Mindo said, his face serious. "Tell me, as your friend, what's going on here? We're all alone. So tell me, what is going unsaid? You know I won't tell anyone, and you know I'll love you regardless, right?"

Taking a deep breath, Raven sighed, "I feel like I'm not myself lately." She shook her head, "Do you ever find yourself being tired of having to explain yourself to others? Even when you know they won't judge, you still need to... explain. And it's exhausting."

"Most people don't know what a Fesarian is," Mindo said. "They don't want to take orders from someone my size. And sometimes I feel like it's my fault that I'm not taller."

"And do you get sick of having to tell people who you are, like, shouldn't they just know?" She asked in reply.

"Well of course," Mindo said. "People should know by seeing my two pips and gold shirt that I'm a Lieutenant in Engineering. But when I'm out of uniform, I'm often mistaken for a child because of my appearance."

As he said those words, he realized what he was saying, and to whom he was saying it. All the signs were there. He knew Raven well, but had never seen the vulnerability under her lavish exterior.

Mindo looked Raven in the eye. "Raven, does all of this have to do with your appearance?"

Raven looked up to him, tears in her eyes again. She replied in barely a whisper. "Yes." She took in a deep, staccato breath, "See, why can you just know that and he can't?!"

Mindo took her hand in his. "It's not that he can't," he said softly. "It's that he doesn't." He wiped another tear smudge off her face. "But I think he wants to."

Biting her lip, Raven nodded, "I think so too. I've been so unfair on him, expecting him to know without saying anything." She sniffed twice in quick succession. "I've tried talking to Counsellor Kaleri about it but even then I couldn't say... it.. out loud. So how could he know? God, he must think I'm crazy."

Mindo grinned at that. He could also feel the tension ease. "You've got to go back there and finish the show. You're a performer and it's what you do best. But first," Mindo paused with a sigh. "You've got to be prepared to finally say 'it' out loud. You owe it to Ignatius. More importantly, you owe it to yourself."

Raven stood from her chair, wiping away the last remnants of her stained mascara. "I'm ready." She said with a nod.

Back on set, Ignatius has used the break time to return to his store and retrieve a package. He placed the rectangular white box gently against his chair as he sat down again.

He looked over to Terrekal who was returning as well. “I hope she comes back out.” He said, “But I wouldn’t be surprised if we never see Raven Mattel again.”

As Terrekal took his seat, he glanced over and saw the makeup and wardrobe attendants go back into the dressing room. "I wouldn't be so sure of that," he replied.

Moments later, the dressing room doors opened wide and Raven appeared, as if nothing had even happened. She swished back onto set and sat down in her chair once more.

"Gentlemen." She smiled. "I apologise. I'd like to continue, if we may?"

Terrekal grinned wide. "We're just coming back from commercial!"

Raven took her seat and in less than a minute, the cameras were back on. No one had noticed Mindo quietly step out, heading back to his office and bag of kettle corn.

Terrekal's eyes lit up as the red dot on the old-style camera came on. "Welcome back to the Real Housewives of the Pandora Reunion Show! Things took a turn for the worse right before commercial, but we've all had a breather and cleared the air. How are we feeling now, Ignatius? Raven?"

Ignatius looked to Raven and shrugged, as if to say 'You first', and Raven acquiesced with a nod. "I have a temper, it's something I've tried to work on but I guess I felt triggered. It's just been... too much." Raven sighed. "I apologise."

"Raven, I am still your friend. I always will be." Ignatius implored. "In fact, I have something for you; something that will hopefully smooth things over."

"No, no, I need to explain myself first." Raven replied, the niceties overcompensating for the earlier drama.

"It's okay, really," Ignatius was saying as he leaned over. "You're going to like this."

"Ignatius, wait, I need to talk first." Raven spoke over him.

Both of them just looked at each other in awkward silence, both wanting to talk say something more.

Terrekal broke the silence. "I think Raven already started. Let's see what she has to say."

"I've been dealing with some issues, my own issues for a little while now." Raven began, trying to keep her voice strong though it threatened to break at any moment. "And in truth, I didn't know how exactly to voice what I was going through. In turn, I shut you out, Iggy. I didn't mean to, but I did. I've hurt you, and I'm eternally sorry for that."

Ignatius nodded, choking back his own tears, "I should have been more understanding and given you more time. I've pressed you to tell me what's wrong, when you've been trying to tell me for some time."

Raven sobbed a little, "I have."

"That's why I wanted to give you this." Ignatius said, as he finally reached over and passed Raven a flat, rectangular white box. She recognised it but still held it in her hands. "I wanted to give you a present before, of some nice pyjamas. I realise now, I made the wrong kind."

Tentatively, Raven slipped off the box's lid and looked inside. It was the satin blue pyjamas Ignatius had once tried to get her in The Flying Pants. Back then, she had instantaneously rejected the gift when she saw they were men's sleep ware. It had been symptomatic of Raven's belief that Iggy didn't really know her, but she wasn't able to say at the time why she felt it was offensive - she had just expected him to get it. Seeing the offending articles again was confronting and she at first wondered if this was some kind of joke that Ignatius was playing on her, making light of this incident. However, as she dug her hands beneath the fine garment and lifted it out of the box, she saw that Ignatius had recut and tailored the top and bottoms into sleek, feminine women's pyjamas.

"This is who you are." Ignatius stated softly. "The real you."

Raven divulged into tears and rose from her seat, crossing the space between herself and Ignatius to give him a hug. Ignatius stood as well, wrapping his arms around his friend and pulling her into a tight embrace.

Terrekal was the only one perplexed. Apparently, Mindo had programmed the camera crew to emote accordingly, but no one seemed to be offering an explanation about the... pyjamas?

Ignatius and Raven separated as Raven admired the gift. "They're actually beautiful."

"As are you, my darling." Ignatius replied. He turned and saw Terrekal's face and smiled. "I insulted Raven when I made her some men's pyjamas. I didn't realise at the time that she was thinking about her identity and gender presentation, I just thought she needed some new jammies. So of course she was upset when I gave her male clothing."

"I should have explained it then." Raven bit her lip. "But I couldn't find the words."

"It's okay." Ignatius replied giving her a hug again. "You don't need to explain it to me."

Raven smiled but she shook her head a little. "I want to, though. I've spoken about this in circles enough times already, it's time I just said it. I... am a woman. I would like to transition into becoming biologically female."

There was a round of applause from the holographic crew and Ignatius embraced his friend, "I'm so proud of you." he whispered.

Terrekal jumped from his seat, activating his hover device in midair and floating to eye-height and joined his friends in their embrace.

"Terry!" Raven beamed, smiling and crying at the same time.

"Oh get in here you sneaky S.O.B!" Ignatius cried as he put his arm around Terrekal. "You went to all this trouble just to get us to make up again?"

Terrekal gave an innocent shrug. "It seemed like the right thing to do!"

The three made their farewell to the cameras, with Terrekal remarking that he couldn't wait for the next season. The red camera lights went off, and the crew applauded, many of them wiping away tears. Terrekal turned around and saw Mindo had sneaked in and was standing in front of the bar, holding up the shot ski, a wooden ski with three full shot glasses glued to it. The shot ski was a time-honored tradition in Housewives shows, dating back to the early twenty-first century.

"I think you three earned this," Mindo said with a grin.

"Cheers!" Ignatius said as they raised the shot ski. "To new beginnings!"

"To new beginnings!" Raven echoed, as she absentmindedly itched her wig. “And to no longer wearing fake hair!”

“Fake hair?!” Ignatius looked incredulously.

“Oh yes honey. The ONLY thing fake about me -“ Raven reached up to her hair line, “Is this!”

And with a single movement, Raven pulled off her wig and threw it on the ground. She was liberating herself from the drag queen persona so that she could truly become who she was inside - a real woman. Of course, Raven being Raven, it was done with a flair for the dramatic. Ignatius burst out laughing, some of the crew were shocked, the camera made sure to get a close up of the discarded hairpiece on the set floor. It was another outrageous moment delivered in the best Housewives way.

"I'll drink to that!" said Terrekal, and at the same time, they tilted the ski and drank!

OFF