Heat of the Moment

Posted on Sun Jun 21st, 2020 @ 4:53am by Cailus Griffin & Commander Mindo & Lieutenant Kalin Brennan-Griffin PhD
Edited on on Tue Jul 7th, 2020 @ 1:09pm

Mission: New Moon Rising
Location: Shae's Quarters
Timeline: The day after "The Next Step"

A Mission Post by Lieutenant JG Cailus Griffin & Lieutenant Mindo & Lieutenant Kalin 'Shae' Brennan PhD
Mission: New Moon Rising
Location: Shae's Quarters
Timeline: The day after "The Next Step"
Sat Jun 10th, 2017 @ 10:01pm


Shae exhaled a weary sigh as she finally returned to her quarters, quickly shrugging out of her duty jacket and letting her hair down. Stars above, she'd only gone in to work for a couple of hours, yet it felt like she had just run a marathon! She needed a nap, maybe even a cold shower if her rising temperature had anything to say about it. But she had one last item on her agenda that she had to deal with before she could settle down, and that was to reschedule her dinner with Mindo; they were supposed to be meeting up tonight to catch up on events after she'd left the Tornado, but she just wasn't really up to it right now. Sitting at her desk, she quickly typed out a message to Mindo, not wanting to bother him with direct communication in case he was busy.

'Sorry Mindo, something's come up and I can't do dinner tonight. Contact me whenever you're free and we can reschedule.'

Once the message was on its way, Shae closed her desk terminal and got up to go take that shower; shite, she was hot!

=====Engineering, two hours later=====

Mindo was about to clock out for the day when he saw the message from Shae. Looking at his chronometer, he noted their little meeting wasn't for another five hours.

What if I surprise her? he thought.

Grinning, he left Engineering, handing things over to Zo and heading back to his quarters for a change of clothes and a bottle of pure Feserian tranya.

=====Shae's Quarters, thirty minutes later=====

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, and noting that her message had come from her quarters, Mindo showed up at Shae's door, chilled tranya bottle in hand. Clearing his throat, he hit the chime next to the door. He wondered if he should have put on the LEGs before he left, but dismissed the idea. Probably no need, plus it was a little late now.

Shae was just getting out her second cold shower; she had just about resigned herself to another trip to Sickbay when she heard the door chime. Who the devil could be visiting her at her quarters at this hour? She quickly threw on some clothes then rushed to the door; she didn't much like the idea of answering the door looking so untidy with her hair and tail still wet and uncombed, but neither did she like the idea of keeping whoever was on the other side of the door waiting.

"Mindo!" she exclaimed with surprise when the door opened to reveal the Eloi-Feserian standing there with what appeared to be a bottle of some kind of wine. "I, uh... what are you doing here?" she asked hesitantly.

Regarding her, Mindo realized perhaps he should have contacted her first instead of surprising her and catching her off guard. Mindo couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed too.

"I, uh..." he said, stammering a little. "I thought I'd surprise you." He grinned a little and held up the bottle. "Surprise!" he said, a little weakly.

That got a soft laugh in response. "Well consider me surprised," Shae said, taking the bottle. "Come on in," she added with a gesture of her hand, then took the wine over to the replicator where she replicated a couple of glasses. Unlike her quarters on the Tornado which had been sparse and impersonal, her quarters on the Pandora were warm and inviting, with young orchids and pictures of her family and daughter all scattered around.

Mindo walked in and noted the difference between these quarters and the ones on Tornado. He was somewhat surprised, but impressed as well. It was much nicer than any of the quarters he had on past ships or even at the Academy.

"You've really done well in this space," he said. "This looks better than any of my own accommodations. Maybe you could help me decorate my quarters..." He smiled at the thought of the flowers in his room. He was never much of a gardener, but he knew a few things about flowers... mostly the way people reacted when you gave them some.

"I've got some lovely lavender and mint seedlings in the botony lab; I plan to put those around the windows once they're big enough," Shae said as she brought the wine and glasses to the dining table and took a seat. "But for you, I don't see plants... maybe a fish tank? If your holodeck program is any indication, you do seem to like fish."

"I like fish," said Mindo. "I suppose you're right about the plants. Maybe sculptures? I do like those." He saw Shae start to pour the drink he had brought. "That's called tranya. It's from my home planet. Very sweet."

"It smells lovely," Shae said, setting one glass down for him, then poured her own glass. She gave the wine an experimental taste, then nodded approvingly. "That's nice, that is," she said, then popped back to her feet to get one more thing from the replicator, cake; Cailus had a fondness for Japanese culture and got her hooked on Japanese deserts, this one in particular being a slice of matcha cake topped with a dusting of powdered sugar and some berries, and she knew it would be the perfect compliment to the wine! "We don't have many fish in the labs, but if you're interested in setting up a tank we can always order some fish and pick them up from Carnwennan when we stop off," she offered as she returned to the table with a couple slices of the cake.

Mindo took a bite and immediately thought it was delicious. As Shae sat down, he smiled at her. "It's good to see you again," he said. "I was afraid after I left the Tornado, I'd be all alone out here."

"It's good to see you too," Shae said, unconsciously wiping a bit of sweat forming on her forehead. "I admit, I was hesitant to leave, I didn't want to abandon all the friends I had made, but it really was for the best." She shifted in her seat, feeling a sudden uncomfortable urge to just move around.

Mindo swallowed another bite. "Why did you leave?" he asked, trying not to be nosy. "I mean, you never even had time to say goodbye."

"Well, at first I was just leaving for shore leave, I didn't feel the need for a big good bye, I thought I would be back in a week," Shae said in defense of her sudden disappearance. "But while we were all travelling in the shuttle, I came to realization that I was afraid... Remember how I told you I had done bad things? Well, Captain Takato was protecting me from repercussions of something I had done while on the Tornado, and she understood why I did it, she knew I didn't have a choice, but... when she gave herself over to the Klingons and we were assigned a new Captain, I knew I wouldn't be safe. There was still so much tension between me and the crew who knew what I did, if it ever came to Shagdac's attention, if he discovered what I did, I knew my career and newfound freedom would be gone. So Cailus convinced me to leave, and then he called in a favor to get me far away from the people who want to do me harm. Being in the Inconnu Expanse is about as far removed as one can get, and plus it was the perfect listing for me seeing as how I have a doctorate in Astrophysics and we are supposed to be charting the unknown!" She was doing her best to remain composed, but she was finding it harder and harder to remain still in her seat, and she was growing warmer and warmer with each passing second. Stars above, what was going on!

"Shagdaq was a problem for me too," said Mindo. "Him and that stupid Yeoman of his." He noticed Shae shifting around a bit and wondered if she even heard him. "Shae, is there something wrong with your chair?" he asked.

"Sorry, a wet tail isn't all that comfortable to sit on," Shae said, which while true was not the reason she was having trouble sitting still, but she didn't want him to worry about her by telling him that she was feeling under the weather. She got up to get a towel, which gave her an excuse to get up and move around for a moment, then set the towel in her chair and sat back down. "Anyway, putting in for this transfer really was the best decision; I have so much more freedom here and I don't have to constantly worry or look over my shoulder... And Aoife is doing great, there's a daycare here and she's learning to interact with other kids and have fun!" And what was that alluring scent? Was that Mindo?

"Not a lot of room on the Tornado for a daycare," said Mindo. "I haven't really explored the ship much. Anything of interest I should know about?"

"Well there's the recreation deck," Shae said, pouring a bit more wine for herself. "Nyx, sorry, the uh Captain, he rearranged the original deck layout so that non-duty related things, like the gym and personal services like the barber and shopping, were all located together into a sort of Promenade thing. It gives the ship a nice feel of community to help combat the isolation of deep space exploration. There's a nice restaurant there too; you have to make a reservation and dress up nice, but it's very intimate and the food is wonderful, all fresh ingredients, no replicators." Shae blushed when she spoke about the restaurant, her mind going back to her date with Cailus, and then 'intimate' had her thinking of Cailus and some of the blushingly intimate things they had done together. She again had to wipe a bit of sweat from her face; oh my, it was really getting warm in here!

"Sounds nice," said Mindo. He looked at her again and noticed she was clearly uncomfortable. "Shae are you alright? You look like you're sweating a lot..."

"I... I don't know," Shae answered honestly. Without really thinking about it, she pulled her tunic over her head so that she was down to her undershirt. "I, uh, had to take some time off because I've overworked myself, but this... this is... I don't know..." Then she looked at him, her eyes darkened and hazy, and with a gentle rumble she said, "Shite, you smell good..."

Now it was Mindo's turn to shift in his chair. What was going on???

"Uh..." said Mindo, "...thanks." He paused for a minute, not entirely sure that what he said next would make much sense.

"You wanna... go somewhere comfortable?" Even Mindo didn't know what he meant by that... yes he did. He shouldn't lie to himself like that. He admitted to himself that he was dying to see what was under that layer of clothing. He suddenly felt 50% awkward and 50% excited. Or was it 40% awkward and 60% excited? Or maybe 30/70... was this really happening???

"Comfortable?" Shae asked, her tone suggesting that she wasn't really comprehending what he was saying. It was getting really hard to even think, like wading through molasses in her head, she couldn't think, though on some level she knew what this was and she knew that this shouldn't be happening. She ran her fingers through her hair, her damp locks flicking water over her heated skin. "I... I think I..." she started, but for the life of her she couldn't recall what she had meant to say. Her eyes met his again and she felt such need, a drive, a hunger like she'd never felt before, and she could see no reason why she shouldn't indulge; after all, he was receptive. He smelled so good, she wanted a taste of him, and so she abandoned her chair to kneel beside Mindo. Taking a moment to really breath in his scent, savoring it before finally closing the distance and planting her lips on his. She wasn't at all nervous or even hesitant as she kissed him, instinct was driving her now. His lips tasted like matcha and tranya, and as she delved deeper she realized he tasted better than he smelled.

Mindo was completely OK with this. It may have seemed a little soon, but why delay the inevitable? Heck, that was practically a Feserian motto. Had he really come here for milk and cookies? Well, truth be told, yes. But wasn't that just a preamble? Aw heck, none of this made sense at all, but Mindo was pretty sure it wasn't a bad thing. He put his hands on either side of where her jaw met her neck and began gently massaging her as he moved in to kiss her further. After a second, he fell off his chair and the two went tumbling to the floor. Mindo was also quite OK with this and decided to keep going, though eventually they had to get somewhere that wasn't hard floor.

The next thing he remembered to do was breathe, and he pulled away from Shae for a second, long enough to say, "I'm not going too fast, am I?"

Shae purred at the massaging caress, although her skin was quite hot to the touch! And as they tumbled to the floor, she pushed him back so that she was over him, renewing the kiss with a fierce hunger. Then he pulled away and asked her something, but she could scarcely comprehend him at this point. "Less talking, more hands," she practically growled out.

Mindo did as he was told.

=====Some Time Later=====

"So..." Mindo started, trying to figure out what just happened... three times. They had finally made it to the bed, the two of them lay clothes off, covers underneath them, never pulled back. They were both a hot sweaty mess. "More tranya?" Mindo asked, not wanting to move for a bit.

"N-nnn," Shae mumbled with a shallow shake of her head. She was so tired, and hot, and tired, and sweaty, and holy hell, Mindo smelled so good! "Oh, I feel like I could sleep for a week!" she said with a contented sigh, stretching slightly beside him.

=====Meanwhile...=====

Outside, the other man in Shae's life, Cailus, was approaching her quarters with his usual, firm stride, although he felt anything but normal. Some rather significant events had happened yesterday, from Shae's pregnancy scare to his declaration of love to Shae's offer for him to move in, and finally culminating in the very memorable night where Shae had expressed her love in her own, special way. As a result, Cailus was...happy. Happy for the first time in eighty eight years. Even his Security personnel had noticed the change; he had been strict and gruff, but still faintly friendly, even joking drily on occasion.

Even tapping on the control to open Shae's door, he was imagining how they'd arrange their quarters. Walking through the main room he mused that one bare wall could comfortably take Pie'sor's painting, although there was no chance that he could bring the katanas into their home.

Then he got to the bedroom, and all thought ended. The smell, which he'd absent-mindedly noticed upon entering, struck full force: sweat, mixed in with the tell-tale scent of past love. His eyes saw what was on the bed: Mindo and Shae, stark naked, the sheets rumpled and stained with what they had just been doing. Cailus' body was frozen in place. He didn't think, didn't speak. He just stared, raw hurt forming in his face, his mouth wide open, the bottom lip quivering.

Shae was so out of it, she didn't even hear him enter what was supposed to be 'their' quarters, but she certainly noticed when he entered the bedroom. Her eyes went wide when she saw him, the shock hitting her like a bucket of ice water, which was more than enough to snap her out of her stupor. "Cailus!" she exclaimed softly, a shudder in her voice. She looked at Mindo; oh stars, what had she done?! She squeezed her eyes shut, shame, regret, and agony written across her face as she tried to convince herself that this wasn't happening, that what had happened between her and Mindo simply wasn't true! But she couldn't lie to herself, she had the memories even if they did feel alien to her, and her nose certainly didn't lie. "I'm so sorry!" she said in a hurried rush as she bolted for the bathroom, eager to get into the shower to scrub the smell of Mindo off her body.

Still stunned, Cailus visibly drooped as Shae left, his entire posture weakening, but he kept staring at the precise same spot, uncaring of Mindo's nude form. He wasn't seeing anything at that moment. He couldn't.

Mindo sat up and got off the bed, moving to his clothes that lay on the floor nearby. Gathering them up, he made his way silently past Cailus. Mindo knew from ample experience that the less said in these situations the better. Slipping on his trousers, he grabbed what remained of the bottle of tranya and left.

In the shower, Shae turned the sonic settings as high as they would go, and it hurt her ears but it was the only way she could be certain to remove all traces of Mindo. The mist she set dangerously hot and she scrubbed at herself until her skin was raw. How could she do this?! She started sobbing as the memories replayed in her head. She knew what had happened, but part of her still couldn't believe it! "Cailus, I'm sorry," she sobbed softly.

Even over the blast of the sonic emitters, he heard her. It was enough, barely, for sensation to return...but with it came pain, gut-wrenching and savage and burning like he'd never felt before. With slow, lifeless steps, more machine than human, he made his way to the main room, finally managing to lean on the bulkhead next to the expansive viewport.

Cailus' mechanical hand gripped the metal tightly, the circuits hissing at the overloaded stress, and he just kept right on staring at the stars as they sped past. The sheer force of it...the betrayal...roared through his mind with awful fury, whipping him again and again, and he took a strained breath as his stomach threatened to erupt, acidly churning away.

Shae stayed in the shower for a long time, long enough she started to feel dizzy, yet she still didn't feel clean enough. But she didn't want to pass out, so she finally shut everything off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her. Her skin was red, flushed from the heat and irritated from all the scrubbing, so much so that the normally soft towels felt like sandpaper. She instantly regretted returning to the bedroom, the smell of what had transpired hitting her like a ship at warp. Furiously, she started ripping the bedding off the bed; forget getting these cleaned, she was going to dispose of everything! Still dizzy from the shower, she staggered and slumped to her knees beside the bed. How could she do this?! Her cycles had never affected her so strongly before, she had always been able to control herself, why had she let herself get so carried away?! Didn't help that she was weak and her cycle seemed to have come early... No, there was no excuse, she should have been able to maintain control! The whole train of thought had her sobbing again; she wanted Cailus to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but right now she felt so much shame she couldn't even bear to look at him.

Finally, the sound of Shae's sobbing broke through to Cailus. The effort it took to release the bulkhead was horrible, the first step was agonising; it would be so much easier to turn around and leave, to run, and that temptation pulled powerfully at his legs.

It didn't matter. She was in pain.

Turning the corner with that same, lifeless look, he took her in. Shae's skin was unnaturally red around the towel, the bedding stripped and tossed into a corner, but the sound of her raw crying was all he could think about. Not thinking, unable to think, he half-fell to sit in front of Shae. The motion to take her hand in his own was, strangely, the easiest thing he could ever do.

Shae pulled her hand away. "Don't," she said, her voice raw. "I don't deserve that... I don't deserve you..." She continued to sob, hiding her face in her hands so she wouldn't have to look at him. "I'm so sorry, Cailus. There's no excusing or forgiving what I did, but I'm still so sorry."

A long moment later, he finally said the word. "Why?" he whispered hoarsely.

"What does it matter?" Shae asked in returned in between her sobs. Between the lightheadedness and all the crying, she felt like she was about to throw up any moment now, but she didn't. "I should have been able to control myself... but it... my cycle, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I can usually control myself," she finally said in answer to his question.

"So you didn't want to," Cailus whispered in that same, dull monotone, still looking at her stoically, but now an flicker of compassion sparked in his eyes amidst all the pain.

"No! A-and yes," Shae replied, wiping at her eyes; she couldn't lie to him, he deserved the truth. "I- I'm not like humans, I don't..." She paused, uncertain how to explain. "When my biology tells me it's time to... to mate... that other side of me, the part that makes it difficult for me to say certain things, it doesn't particularly care who I am with so long as they are strong and willing. I felt the urge, it came early so I wasn't expecting it, and Mindo... Mindo just happened to be there, I swear I didn't go looking for a fling. But me, who I am when my head is clear, I've only ever wanted you, Cailus, and I am sorry that I wasn't able to control myself."

Listening, Cailus finally, slowly nodded, his uniform pulling uncomfortably on his shoulders. "Is it..." he trailed off, uncertain, glancing away before looking back to Shae. "I know you're not...would you..." He faded again, taking a deep breath, before finding the strength to say it.

"Are you...happy...with just...me?" he murmured, his voice still lifeless and empty, unable to convey what he wanted it to.

"Yes!" Shae said, finally bringing herself to look at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and still so full of tears she could barely see, but there was truth in those eyes. "Stars above, yes, I am happy with you and only you, Cailus. But this other part of me, shite, I thought I would have more time to prepare you for what I'm like when this happens to me. I can usually maintain control, it wasn't that hard when I wasn't, you know... active... I didn't expect the urge to come over me so strong. I'm sorry, Cailus, I'm so sorry..."

Rolling those words around in his head, it took sheer force of will for him to focus on Shae's face, beautiful even with her skin rubbed raw, her eyes swollen and wet with tears. Looking at her intensely, he then forced himself to remember that awful memory, balancing that burning pain against what he saw now. It was a terrible war, a war waged in the space of a single moment, but it was a war he knew well; he'd been fighting it since being awoken from that pod. With another deep, strained breath, he made a decision.

"Shae, look at me," Cailus commanded quietly, waiting patiently for her to obey. With his trembling left hand, he cupped her cheek, holding her weeping eyes on his. "We're stronger than this," he insisted, fighting through the tremor that still infected his voice. "You and me, to the end, Shae. We'll find a way. We will always, always find a way. I don't care what we have to fight, what stands in our way. You and me. To the end."

Her hand rose to meet his, holding it fiercely as he gave his verdict. "Thank you," Shae said in a soft whisper. "Can... do you think you could ever bring yourself to forgive me?" she asked, her stomach twisting into knots knowing that what she had done was unforgivable, but she held on to hope that one day this would be forgiven.

"You remember what we said last night?" he said quietly, intensely. Slowly, he pulled her hand to his chest, to just above his heart, just as she had done. "Yours," he whispered hoarsely, never leaving her eyes. "It won't be today...maybe not tomorrow...but yes. I'll find a way to forgive you. Somehow."

With that, his body aching from the conflicting urges to stay or to flee, he moved over to her side, encircling her with his arm so Shae could lean into him. "Before then, find a way to forgive yourself, Shae. I'm not...I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," Shae said, putting her arms around him. How could she ever forgive herself? "Thank you," she said once again, burying her face in his shoulder as her sobs renewed, but much softer this time and it didn't take long for her to calm down. "Can you look after Aoife for a while?" she asked once the aching sobs had subsided. "She should be done with her PT soon, but I don't want her here right now; I need to clean up and then maybe take another shower."

"Yeah," Cailus replied simply. He kissed the top of her forehead lightly, purposefully, before standing up, holding a hand for Shae. For all his words, even those simple actions were hard as hell, and he couldn't stop it from showing with a flash of hesitance. Their relationship was so new, so raw, so blasted powerful, that it was uncharted territory for them both. Cailus couldn't even consider leaving her, not for one moment...but the idea of Shae actually having sex with Mindo...ferociously, from what he'd seen...

With another mighty exertion of will, Cailus clenched his right fist again even as his left helped Shae up. "I'll sleep in my quarters tonight and...move in tomorrow. I'll see you later," he said awkwardly, before finally turning and leaving, his stride quick.

His reply and abrupt exit stung, made Shae ache to her very core, but she endured it because it was nothing less than she deserved.